The insiders guide to embracing change

It's been 8 months since our official move to our brand new home. I wouldn't have believed that after 15 years in the same place, I would be moving away from all the people whom I love and cherish to embark on a journey outside of my comfort zone. 

Needless to say, there's an old adage that states that life actually begins outside of said comfort zone and therefore, we should embrace this change, right? Well, it hasn't really been so in my case. 

They didn't tell me it would be this cold!

If I take you through the last 8 months, step by step, you would have a far better idea of my state of mind prior to arriving in a new town that offered few friends and even less memories. Sure I've visited this place before, a 2 hour flight away from my familiar playground and living space isn't exactly far from home. Once done with the visit, I'd pop back home after a couple of days of cold air and colder people. Everyone here is just doing "Me" and no one cares about the tourists and day-trippers. 

So there I was 8 months ago. Sure, I had some pretty challenging and unique circumstances that not everyone would face. I had to change my job, within a career I was building, separated from a company I loved dearly. At the time, I had no idea that there was life after this company, I had no idea what I was doing at all with the new one either! I had to pack up our lives, say goodbye to neighbours and friends with 3 weeks notice. I had to find a new place that was suitable for our needs and then, the farewell party - something the resembled a funeral. On top of all of this, moving is expensive. 

Sounds like fun and excitement to the 20-something version of myself, but the 30-something me wasn't enjoying the transition. I had dreamed about this move, I had even hoped for it, but I had no idea what hit me when it became a reality. I had to start at a new company with people who didn't know me from a bar of soap, in a town where I knew perhaps 20 people max. 4 of them were family and a couple were very, very old school friends that had last seen me with a couple of teeth and pigtails in Grade 3. Getting around was challenge enough because being on the road all day as a salesperson meant that I had to figure out how to drive around (for hours) and navigate my way through one way mazes in the centre of town. There was even a time that I drove down a one way into oncoming traffic. It took me forever to find the clients I needed to see, putting extra pressure on myself to perform. I missed the familiar faces I called on, those who knew me and my story.  

My husband and I were financially brought to our knees, so the next 8 months would ebb and flow between the life of kings and the life of peasants. We only had each other and life was all about making this an "adventure" until about a month in. I completely imploded into a depressive 6 month episode that would inevitably end with me realizing what I should have realized 6 months prior. Surrender to the flow and trust the timing of your life. 

It may not be easy, but it will be worth it - and hopefully pretty like a sunset

If you're feeling stuck in your current circumstance, here are some things that may help you to embrace some change. It's not a 'one size fits all' approach but perhaps you'll learn from my journey. If you're anything like I was, you may have to land up in hospital with colitis before you understand the meaning of surrender. Perhaps if that's not enough to help you see the light of relinquishing control, you'll have every door close in your face, lose your motivation and even find yourself face to face with someone pretending to listen to your boring sob story with glazed eyes and the occasional grunt to confirm they are still listening. If not, take heed of these gems. 

1. Whatever you believe it's going to be like, it probably wont happen the way you think it will. You can arrive guns blazing with a positive attitude and hope for the best, but life is going to shake your expectations and that's okay. Whatever change comes your way is meant to help you grow. 

2. You're so much stronger than you think, perhaps even more so than you believe! No matter what you face, how depressed you are or how many times you cry in disbelief that "this is my life!", you will be alright and things will get better. The pain you feel is temporary in the big picture. 

3. Your vibes will literally attract your tribe so make sure that you're aware of what you're putting out. One of my biggest breakthroughs was faking it, legitimately forcing a smile and pretending my life was amazing. The more I spoke words of joy and gratitude, the more good things started to happen. People will eventually get tired of your story. If you need someone to be a sounding board, turn to a handful of people you trust and leave the complaints at the door when you leave home. As you're driving to work, or when you wake up first thing, gently release yourself from unrealistic expectations. Count your blessings, brush your teeth and breathe. Oh dear child of the Universe, breathe.

4. You will question yourself and your decisions. This process almost looks like a self sabotage game of denial. You may even want to throw in the towel and retreat back to what you know. I can assure you that if you've come this far, you can turn back to what you left behind, but even that won't be the same even if you tried to recreate it. The chapter is over, have faith in the now.  

5. Maybe you're struggling financially, perhaps you're so broke you can't pay attention. The moment you get past the aggravation of not having total control of everything, is the moment you're free. You'll find that somehow, every single time in fact, you'll survive regardless of your current circumstances. Someone may bless you with money (happened to me) someone may give you extra business opportunities (happened to me) and somehow you'll find yourself at elaborate, fancy dinner parties where you're mingling and networking (and eating) with no extra cost to you (also me). The Universe will bless you with opportunities contrary to your current state of mind if you're willing to surrender and state your desires. In these moments you will recharge and you will gain strength. Celebrate in the small victories even while the tears flow, I believe that this is the greatest form of gratitude and gratitude opens the door to more good things. 

6. Your faith will be tested - so hard! If you don't have anything to believe in or a Higher Power to turn to, I suggest you work on Self Love and acceptance ASAP. If you've already got that in check, learn to pray. When I pray now, I pray from a space of surrender. Try it and you'll see that the Universe is working behind the scenes, with or without your participation. 

7. Change isn't a swear word. This means that while you've got one plan in mind and the Universe another, you need to trust that the change you're experiencing is polishing you like a diamond. You cannot and will not be the same person you were in a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Your change may feel slow, but your growth will well up inside you when you realise that the circumstances didn't change, but you just got stronger. It's the rough tumbles here and the hard knocks there that will help you shine brighter than you were before you started. Change is the mirror that is held in front of us and forces us to see ourselves as we truly are. When you do that and embrace your state of being, you're liberated and nothing can eradicate your progress. 

Thanks life, I accept your giant lemon!

8. Be like Elsa - let it go. There was a time that everything that happened found me erupting into explosive episodes out loud and in stereo. My husband would stand and watch me red line in our living room because, wait for it, the garage door wasn't working or I spilled tea on the floor. Not really the kind of emotional quotient that fits the scene, right? I was burning out and I realised that if, at the very least, everything falls down around me, things will work out in the end with, or without, my rambunctious tantrums. 

9. This isn't where you'll be forever. There are times when you feel like this - just - won't end. You almost start tempting fate by declaring, "What next!", a dangerous place to be, believe me. You'll be served plenty more drama if you're willing to ask for it. Ever noticed how drama just attracts more drama? Well, if you're feeling like life is throwing you lemons, use both hands and pluck that baby off the tree for some meringue pie! The same works for joy. Be joyful, playful and stress less about life (while biting your tongue as the driver cuts in front of you) and you'll notice that your tolerance for change will improve and so will your health!

10. While all of this change is happening, try have some fun. Try new things, become inventive with your time. Attend free workshops, fun runs within the community or volunteer to another cause. There is nothing more rewarding giving back, when you have a "full cup", that is. When we are facing our own demons we want to run the opposite way of anything or anyone that requires us to invest in them. Remember that when you're serving someone other than yourself, be it through work, expressing kindness through random acts or sacrificing your time for another, you are practicing a form of meditation. The longer you stay in that space, the more peace you'll find. So give to others, it will ease your burden and it will hug your soul. 

11. Loyalty isn't as common as you may believe, not even from family. I've found that in the throws of change, you may lose friends. You may also find that you're able to make room for people who will understand where you're at right now. Others may stay clear of you for the sake of protecting themselves, while there are friends and family who may simply walk away because you no longer serve a purpose in their lives. Be okay with this. Friendships come and go and like to believe that each one serves a purpose. New friends are waiting to be made depending on what you need at the time, and their stories will make your life sweeter, just like that meringue pie I mentioned. 

~Namaste~

Are you being pushed to change?

Some of us, when experiencing hard times, think that perhaps our lives suck in the largest of ways and that we're doomed to fail. 

A bad day doesn't mean you're having a bad life, but sometimes it's hard to think that there's any light at the end of the tunnel when your incessant bad days add up like unwanted kilograms on the gym scale after Christmas. Perhaps though, instead of having a bad life, you're being pushed to change?

No coincidences 

You may be in a place in your life that looks like this...
Your closest friends are becoming fewer, your circle is getting smaller. You consider that maybe you're just 'moody' or 'in a bad place' so you continue with life as you do - until someone somewhere on your Facebook reminds you that you're actually better off just removing yourself from social media altogether. But you ignore it and your complacency keeps you prisoner to your daily habits, most of which keep you asking questions about your existence. 

Perhaps, you've noticed that the chronic gastric reflux you're used to once in a while, has become more frequent. You're battling to put anything into your mouth without the pain and inconvenience of a lava pit for a stomache. You carry on with your morning coffee, toast and a biscuit until you realise after a bottle of Gaviscon and 2 packs of Rennies later, that something has to change. Until such time as you're prepared to make the necessary changes to help yourself, you're going to keep suffering with dragon breath. 

If you're anything like me, you'll notice that the things that used to be fun and exciting have lost their luster. You know that you need to start meditating again and that all your dissatisfaction in life is actually because you're running away from time alone with yourself - you know, where all the answers lie. Yet you continue with your social media accounts (that no longer bring you joy) and your weekend rituals, which includes movies at your local cinema. And, nothing. Dead. Nothing changes until we consciously make a decision to follow our inner compass. 

I'm almost certain it will make you uncomfortable, almost resentful

It's okay to not want to do the things that serve you, they have a funny way of making you surrender. You will eventually realise that all the 'highs' that got you through your day, fizzled out with very little sustenance like the low GI bread you toasted and has now given you said reflux. You will find that when you notice all the ways the Universe is pushing you to change, your existence cannot remain the same. Take action, and the rest will fall into place. Perhaps it's time to tick off the proverbial emotional wellbeing checklist that you keep ignoring, starting with your husband, your kids, your personal goals and dreams. 

Dear one, when you find the discipline to listen to and change your present behaviour, you have discovered a door to the pathway of change so enter it, if you have the courage, and watch how what you've resisted all this time will actually set you free.

The Day I Remembered My Mojo

4 years have passed since I had the inclination, motivation or inspiration to participate in life. Let me assure you, I have a sturdy track record for being as passionate about a bag of peanuts as I am selling holidays to travel agents. I've always been passionate, but somewhere, my interests in self development and creativity faded with my hopes and dreams for a future. 

That zing I refer to as passion was no longer present. I found myself failing to commit my time to my holistic healing course. I found myself disinterested in getting up in the morning let alone being present and in the moment each day. My life was full of distractions, my cellphone permanently fixed to my hand. I found that I couldn't keep still, I forgot how to just enjoy life let alone know what to be passionate about. 


I call it spiritual amnesia. I had many conversations with my mother about where my lust for life could have gone, searching for it like the missing sock that relocates from the moment you put it in the washing machine. 

We searched for it through conversation, she prompted my heart and sifted through my mind with me - which often lead to tears of frustration, genuine sorrow and a series of days whereby I beat myself up for not being "more". 
I couldn't remember what it felt like to be genuinely inspired and piece by piece I tried to put together a solution to the mystery of the missing mojo. I just didn't feel anything for anything at all. In these moments, the void is real. 

Life gets you down, routine gets you down, work gets you down and suddenly you're a miserable human being with a history of incomplete tasks gnawing at your confidence. The more you're down, the less you want to be up again. 


4 years is a long time


"I feel dead inside", I explained in another hour long conversation with my mother on the phone. "I feel nothing, about anything!", my voice strained as I held back tears. 

Sometimes, it is not so easy to find a solution when we have no idea what this condition we face is called or in my case, what caused it. 
For the most part it feels like, 

1. You have no motivation at all, apathy in general about everything.
2. You won't be rushed, who cares if there's a second pile of washing, it's the washing's fault it's there not mine!
3. Things that used to inspire you don't, well not as they used to. 
4. You'd rather be asleep. 
5. You blame yourself for being lazy, people may even tell you that you're undisciplined. 
6. You don't see the point, of anything really, so dust gathers on your favourite book collection and the dog hasn't had a wash in about 3 months. 
7. As much as you tell yourself you're on a 'break', you can't help but feel like a failure, there's a burning inside yourself to do more, but what is the 'more' you seek and when will it grace us with it's presence. 
8. People just label it as depression. 
9. You've labelled it as depression. 
10. It could be depression, but it's not, because depression has a level of emotion attached to it, and this is just - nothing. It's apathy really. 

So there I was on this hamster wheel called life. Feed the kids, feed the cat, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. Is this what I signed up for? Is this how people become bitter and jaded? Yes! I was bitter, jaded and everyone could see I was miserable. 

Your drought is over, you've just got to learn to sing in the rain

It's literally raining buckets outside my window, there's something cathartic about water. I've often wondered if the weather affects my mood, and on many occasions joked that the weather was affected by me! 

The truth is that inspiration, like happiness, is a choice. Now, hear me out before you apathetically throw an unread book at me. Inspiration as per my online Thesaurus search is an emotion, which is a noun, wait for it, for a mental state. Boom!

As the rain pours, I can feel the drought subsiding. Not because I'm suddenly inspired, but because I realise that the source of my drought and the duration of the same, has been a 4 year period of growth and adjustment. Where have you been for the last few days/months/years of your drought and when did it start? I guarantee you, you can pinpoint it to the day. 

In the last 4 years, I've endured a 5 year break up, 3 house moves, a new relationship with children involved (that I know nothing about), an emotional breakdown caused by burnout in 2015 and somewhere along the line the absence of my sanity. Yet, lil Miss GottaHaveMySh*tTogether wants to still be climbing a corporate ladder, writing a biography or winning at life in between everything - and this just isn't possible. Inspiration comes to us when we stop, create the peace we so crave and allow the creative juices to flow again. The drought is there because you closed the flood gates by doing what you were either expected to or forced to do. You closed the flood gates when you stopped looking after your own well being. 

This may take some time before you feel the cold trickle on those hot sluice gates, but the best place to start is knowing what you're working toward. Perhaps you don't know what the next step is, perhaps you have no idea how your life is going to turn out. Here's what you do know: 

1. You're powerful, you create your own reality and you have more potential than you realise. Don't tell me you didn't know that, because feeling stuck like this happens to those who know they want and deserve better. 
2. You already know what you don't want. 
3. You already know what makes you happy. Be it people, animals, vintage cars or writing movie reviews. You know you, and if you don't - make a date with yourself!
4. Break down your goals into small steps. Today you decide not to complain about anything petty (this is a personal goal) perhaps tomorrow you decide you need help in a certain area so you sign up for a workshop, short course or a lecture. Next week you decide to care for yourself more, so you put on your favourite dress or buy yourself those daisy covered gumboots to play in the rain with. 
5. You know you're worth more, so you know that everything is already all okay. 
6. Buy yourself a journal, even if you don't feel like it, start writing down and journalling where your thoughts go. Where your thoughts go, your energy flows and that attracts more of the same!
7. Remember the times you got life right, perhaps find old emails or letters from clients and/or friends that appreciated your unique talents and gifts. Those moments count!

Be consistent

Tonight I tidy out my spare room. Tonight I light candles and enjoy a bubble bath. Tonight I get out of my own way. Tonight I stop making excuses for why I can't be more and I vow to take action, one day at a time until the inspiration returns. Remember, the Universe supports action - make a decision and the answers come to you!

Just opened my email to this: 

"During the times we think we’re being “unproductive,” the seeds of new worlds are germinating within us, and they need peace to grow." - Martha Beck


It's time to go within and get real, but first, that bubble bath!

Hold on! The Shift Is Here.

Everyone is feeling it, it's an unwelcome blend of change and hypersensitivity.
There's something in the air, some sort of cosmic shift that I don't really know how to explain. If I had to try articulate it, I would explain it it as the end of the old and the start of a brand new being for each of us. 

While in the shift you'll experience moments of deep introspection, heightened awareness and for some (particularly me) a great sense of discomfort on all levels - physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. 

In short, I've been feeling lost. That's all. Questioning everything, questioning friendships, life purpose, seeing things in a totally different light. A definite repulsion for all things ego driven. Negative people, gossip, drama. The petty things drain my already agitated soul. Over the last few months the most important person in my life is, wait for it, me. Somehow I forgot this, not consciously but because somehow life has gotten the best of me. I'd forgotten that without looking out for myself, no one else would and I burnt out as fast as I was ignited with the desire to help others before myself. 

I had to get lost before I could find myself 

It happened slowly, then suddenly all at once. I started to notice the glow had turned into a dull reflection in the mirror and apathy was my attitude toward all things that made me smile and shine from the inside out months before. It's almost as if my body was walking on this earthly domain and my soul had simply left me to exist all by myself. I could feel the separation. My Angels that had always seemed arms length away were now distant memories until I was recently reminded that it was in fact me who left them when I chose to put everything else before my own spiritual and emotional responsiblities. I have work to do to catch up to my old new self, the shift has reminded me of this. 

I think I cried for a full day last Sunday, a purge of emotions from as far as 15 years back. Emotions and issues I honestly thought I had dealt with but the shift will do that to you. 

The shift will cause you to suddenly question everything you thought you knew about your life and where you're going. I sat in a pile, I was blaming the whole world for my list of excruciating circumstances, memories and people that I had to deal with. "How the hell did I get here?", I sobbed. I had lost myself and I didn't even realise it. 


Don't resist, just let it happen


I called my parents on two separate occasions this week, both times about the same problem's I've been dealing with. Just this afternoon both of these people, separate from each other for the last 20 plus years gave me the same advice. A golden thread of clarity hit home inside me, both of them sharing the same simple gems that have put everything into luminous perspective. "Go with the flow of life, let go of the need to control everything that you can't understand/fix/comprehend." 

Here comes the pearler

"I just wish I had a break, when is it my turn to just live my life and get ahead", I sobbed. To which both parents echoed - "Make your own break, make the change you want to see, create the life you want to live." 
(Insert facepalm here) You hear these snippets 1000 times in life and suddenly it's all relevant. Create.The.Life.You.Desire. Hashtag are you feeling me? 


So I'm back from the dead, back from the cesspool of self pity and loathing to bring you more blogging awesomeness, love, light and authenticity. Just know that no matter what you're going through, the shift is happening. It's not a tangible thing, it's not something you can control and it's not something you should fear. No matter where you are, if you're reading this and you're feeling the shift you're not alone, we'll go through it together. 

If you're in the same boat don't panic, it just means you're that much closer to a breakthrough than you realise!

My Divine Freedom

It was the middle of a particularly difficult week for me. The heaviness of the grief I had become accustomed to, was weighing me down. There are times in our lives when the pain we feel is so comfortable and familiar, that we forget what sunshine and happiness feels like. That, is the exact same state I was in – numb.

So there I was, driving down a familiar road in Rivonia after completing another sales call at a neighbouring premises. I had seen the crystal shop from the street on two previous occasions 8 months before this day. I had mentioned to a friend that we should make efforts to visit this store, yet as time had passed, so did the urgency to visit. 

Today was different, today I needed to go in. I was being beckoned by the thought of familiar surroundings, positive energy and good vibes. All the things I needed so badly at this time of my life.

It wasn't exactly the easiest store to get into either, well at least not on this particular day. Two picket fence gates had to be opened, a buzzer had to be pressed, the kinds of challenges that could push one over the edge in this state. The chirpy voice welcomed me in to the property and sang instructions to me which included walking through the large green gates and turning immediately left thereafter. There she stood. 

A welcome face

I would soon find out that Jeanette was in fact the owner of Divine Crystals in Rivonia. Her body and colouring reminded me of a Fluorite stone, images of mauve and emerald green palettes came to mind. Her bright and smiling face beams at me as Jeanette leads me to her room full of crystals. It is a small shop but the energy is tangible - the same comforting energy I was expecting to receive. 

As I drag myself through the process of small talk, I listen more than I speak. My heart is sore and with it my body is slumped over with hunching shoulders, heavy with the burdens I'm carrying. All I want is to be left alone with the stones. But Jeanette wants to show me her meditation room, and so I follow. 

Let the healing begin

I stand in the meditation room, physically hurting from what I can only describe as "a pain in my solar plexus". The sun streams through the massive window on my left, there is so much peace and power in this space. But I need to get out, "It's too much.", I tell her. Being particularly familiar with the power of stones and its effect on me, we walk back towards the original room full of bright crystals and stones. The stabbing pain is now in my chest and my face grimaces with agony as Jeanette continues to talk. 

We share, we bond, and after a while the pain is now in my throat.
"You're in the angry stage of your break up, aren't you", she observes. "Hold your body and declare your anger. As you do, you release it."

And in that moment, almost as the full stop ended her sentence, I lose the ability to hold in the pain and I let out a whimper, which turns into a sob and then - I cry. I cry on Jeanette's shoulder, a perfect stranger. I cry because the pain has left my body and my soul is purging. She holds me, and as two strangers find themselves in each others arms, I'm smiling up at the Universe on the inside because this is exactly where I'm meant to be.

Freedom in the shape of release

After our chat Jeanette and I walk back to the reception area. In my hands I hold salts from the Namibian salt pans for aura cleansing and strict instructions to enjoy a long, hot bath. Pity I don't own one in my new house, but I keep them for the moment I do. The Selenite stone she has given me is tucked up inside the packet of literature she has given me to read. This woman is such a beautiful soul and I know I will see her again. 

From the moment I stepped out her shop as I headed back to my car, I felt as if a ton of heaviness has literally been lifted off my shoulders. For some reason, I knew everything was going to be alright from that moment on. 

As I sit describing the event to my mom during our regular Skype chats, I share my sense of freedom.  "I'm free mom, I'm free from the burden and pain I've been carrying. I'm free!" My mother reassuringly smiles back across the screen. "I am finally free and I can feel the joy!" The rest of my week was, and still is, full of joy and peace in my heart.

My message from Sam

A few days later I get an email from Samantha. 

The only thing that Sam and I have in common is that our birthdays are in the same month and that we both know her ex boyfriend. We've never met, but Sam and I know each other through Facebook and through a time in her life when she reached out to me via social media - the rest is history.Like so many people she was unaware of the recent break up I had endured and hurt I was feeling.

"I had a dream about you a few nights ago," she shares with me in her message. "You and I were sitting on the beach with the water lapping at our feet. You were smiling and the sun was rising. The glow of the sunrise reflected on your face,", she writes. "Tan, you turned to me while we sat on the beach as the sun rose and you looked at me and said, 'I am free'. So I don't know what that means to you but I hope you're well."

Believe me when I tell you that I literally burst out laughing when I read that, but in the same breath I know that the Universe is supporting you and I both through life's challenges. What we choose to see is really up how open you are to receiving the guidance and messages that we're provided, every single day.  

Are you open to receiving ? 

Christmas Stocking Filler! Roz Brickman's Reiki Course 2014

You may recall my Reiki with Roz blog post earlier in May this year. 

I've just received fantastic news for those wanting to either have a Reiki session with this lovely lady (situated in Glenhove in Johannesburg) or be taught first hand by Roz on her first Reiki 1 course in January of 2014.

Roz's rates for her Reflexology or Reiki sessions are highly competitive and her first Reiki course for 2014 will be no different. Roz will be sharing her love for connecting with Angels and Universal energy and will provide relevant literature and workshop material. She is a gentle, warm woman who has so much knowledge and education behind her in the field of Energy Healing so you don't want to miss out! 

As a special blog post offer she's offering readers a rate of R1 500 for her first course of 2014. Terms and conditions apply so please be sure to be in touch with Roz to find out more. 

For further details and enquiries Roz is contactable on 083 601 5181 or email her Rozbrickman@gmail.com. 


Terms and conditions*
Subject to availability and full payment required prior to the commencement of the course due to preparation of study materials. Restricted group of 8 people only for one on one attention. 

December Holidays With The In Laws

Every year it happens to me. Somehow my plans are changed, get snubbed out due to bad weather or finances or someone gets on my nerves. 

This year I've decided to consciously relinquish control and just go with the flow, even if I'm not the captain of the ship this year. Here are some of my coping tips if you're spending some time with the in laws.

Choose your battles

If you're anything like me, I battle to see the grey in a clearly black or white situation. There's always one black sheep that will rile you up and get you fuming. Martha Beck recently posted an excerpt from one of her books about family gatherings. 

Martha says, "Before you meet your relatives this season, take a few moments to sit quietly and acknowledge what you wish they were like. Then prepare to accept them even if they behave as they have always done in the past. At best you may be surprised to find that they actually are changing, that some of your wishes have come true. At worst you’ll feel regrettably detached from your kinfolk as you watch them play out their usual psychoses."

Always have a plan 'B' to keep yourself busy

Typically I shrug off family trips with "I'm gonna pack extra magazines just in case I get free time go under the radar for a bit". Problem is that when you've read every single downloaded magazine on your Zinnio App on the way down to Durban, you'll more than likely have nothing else up your sleeve for the next 8 days. 

My plan B's include :

• Updating my iPhone with the latest tracks from 2013 as well as some Golden oldies from the 80's and 90's off iTunes. Interestingly to know that until 26th of December iTunes has a gift a day (free downloads) to Apple users. Download the 12 Days of Gifts app to get your free gifts. 
• Shopping on the Amazon.com website for some Kindle books to download and sink my teeth into. I've mixed it up a bit purchasing books on Marketing, Angel Therapy and Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. 
• Downloading some games onto my iPad. Gosh I sound like an Apple Junkie but if you haven't downloaded fun apps like "Dumb ways to Die", "Can You Escape" and "Bitstrips" you're missing out! For those wanting something more practical, be sure to download Pick n Pay and Discovery Health's apps to view your profiles and find out how to earn points. 
• Catch up on those assignments. I'm going to have to put all my digital downloads onto my iPad so I can do some much overdue correspondence for my diploma. 

Be prepared for anything

This year I've been told I'm going to be sleeping 'open plan' on a blow up mattress. While I wasn't initially ecstatic that I wouldn't have any privacy, I'm glad I asked up front. I'll be taking my own hand held fans with back up batteries and charger. I will be pitching my mini 2 man tent in the lounge (no jokes) and I'm going to ensure that the I have enough mosquito repellent to keep the bugs away. Might as well do this on my terms, gotta get comfy for the 8 day stay!


Prepare for 2014

I'm kinda weird like this, but I like to plan. 
I always make sure that I have my favourite pen and journal for some time of reflection and introspection. Next year I'm planning to get more involved in wildlife, go away more often over weekend adventures and want to start dancing again. 

If you have the Pinterest app on your iPhone or iPad, you'll be able to browse around and create some mood boards for your upcoming wedding, business, dream home. It's a lot of fun. 

Be an observer - channel your inner voyeur

While I've been 'part' of my other half's extended family for 5 years, this is essentially only my 2nd stay over with them. My 2013 resolution was to take more videos, for the sake of capturing the essence of the memories being made around me. 

This year I'm going to be the voyeur for the close knit family, and observe. 
I wonder how much they will spill on film? Watch this space. 

Just chill, ok?

So wherever you are, whatever you're doing (or not doing) try make the most of it. Maybe inspiration will hit you, maybe you will sleep it all away after all it's your holiday too!

Be polite, be helpful and keep your opinions to yourself. 
Next year I'm going to 'Romania' - Remain here - but until then I'm gonna sit back, let them drive and see the upside of not having to do anything unless I'm told too.

Happy Holidays.

10 Signs Its Time To Let Go

The biggest challenge when making a decision is our constant fear of making the wrong choice.  Thing is its not the end of the world, its simply a choice. There is no right or wrong, its just a decision to be made with its own set of consequences. 

I am however the worst person when it comes to making a clean break if the non-negotiables aren't clear. I'm not stating these 10 signs are hard fact nor am I claiming that they apply to your love life or a particular scenario, every person and circumstance is different, but these are my tell tale signs that something is amiss.

So I'm here to break it down for myself - and for you - if the decision still needs to be made then consider this.

10 Signs Its Time To Let Go

1. The passion is gone. The ship has sailed and you just don't feel the "romance" any more. Perhaps your burning desire has dissipated into more of a slow simmer but its just not enough to make the effort for.
2. You've seen yourself elsewhere. Your imagination keeps showing you an alternative scenario, eternally optimistic in your fantasy world. You've already considered these alternatives and the present moment just leaves you cold in comparison.
3. People start noticing the change in your attitude. There is a clear shift from bubbling enthusiasm to the dull, hum drum approach you've taken on without even realising it.
4. Your inner voice is louder than ever. I'm not just talking about the voices in your head, but the voice in your heart that just keeps pulling at your shoulder, nagging you to take notice. You'll know when its time when that voice gets louder than your doubts and fears.
5. You've put aside your personal goals. Perhaps you've forgotten about yourself, neglected your health/talents/family/friends/grooming. If you're not living in balance, you're probably overdoing it on the committment front to something that doesn't serve you any longer.
6. You can actually see yourself in an out of body, almost comedic type of scenario and the person you're telling to F-off is probably someone important. 
7. Asking why. One of my most favourite alarm bells. "Why am I putting myself through this?" or "Why am I sacrificing so much." "When did I manage to lose myself?" These questions are being asked for a reason and that is because a conscious decision needs to be made.
8. Possibilities and opportunities for future development aren't clear anymore. The vision you have for your future isn't going to manifest itself under the current circumstances - its time for change.
9. Its in your dreams and you know it. You've woken up from nightmares, your subconscious isn't just talking to you, its shouting! 
10. You decide you deserve better and you don't have to feel like a victim to do so. You feel ok with this decision and you have a sense that everything is going to work out regardless of the circumstances.

My personal goal for 2013 was not to act like a victim. If you dont like something or you feel it doesn't serve your or isn't for your greater good - then change it!

Time to move on - might as well do so fearlessly.