Beautiful Sabie

It's been a bucket list destination of mine for a long time. The thought of going through Mpumalanga, South Africa and enjoying the exploration of Pilgrim's Rest and God's Window have always pulled at my heart strings.

Unexpected trips are the best!

So there we were, contemplating what to do over New Years eve. We mulled over the thought of the ever so popular (and overdone KZN/beach trip) and then flitted between a two night stay in Clarens, Parys, Drakensberg - gosh anywhere but home! Looking at the map of Gauteng and surrounds, I found myself drawn to Mpumalanga. I browsed through accommodation and all enquiries turned up as dead ends as holiday makers filled up rooms across the country. We had left it too late. 

Blessings in disguise and the case of the missing passport

Chatting to my mom about her impending trip to Botswana, I learned that her plans had been foiled when her partner had lost and later found his (expired) passport, so their trip was called off and she began to tell me about her back up plan and camping adventures that awaited with my brother. 

I listened casually to her plans and packing lists, and her enthusiastic camping dreams fell onto my deaf ears. She had lost me at self catering and portable potty - gosh when did I become such a snob!

As her sentence ended I jokingly asked if there was space for a "Plus 2" so that Neil and I could join in. Suddenly before I was aware of my request an opportunity presented itself in the form of a last minute camping trip to, wait for it, Sabie, Mpumalanga!

Things I didn't know about Sabie (and camping) until I got there

1. We stayed at a place called Merry Pebbles, a pristine and immaculately well kept camping and Caravaning facility in Sabie. Highly recommended for the price you pay, onsite restaurant, hot and cold pools, water tubing and so much more! Excellent for kids and first time campers as well as those wanting to enjoy a chalet option. 

2. Sabie is damp - very damp. By day 5 I was over my first (and probably last) camping trip when the rain came down for two straight days. There are so many tree's and you're literally sleeping on the forest floor. Be sure to visit the Sabie Forestry Museum to learn more about paper, forestry and conservation. 

3. Sabie has it's own brewery, Sabie Brewing Co. - and you have to, have to try the Cherry cider!

4. Graskop is not "just down the road", it's about 40kms from Sabie and is pretty much where you'll find a strip of road where all the magic happens, including Harries Pancakes and tons of Macadamia nut vendors. 

5. Pilgrims Rest is a good 45 minute drive from Sabie. 

6. You'll see many, many, many waterfalls. And they will eventually all start looking the same. 

7. Don't go over peak season if you can help it, because everyone and their cousin is sitting in the waterfalls with a glass of whiskey. Not my idea of enjoying nature.

8. Mosquitoes are real, especially when hiking. Be prepared!

9. Pilgrims Rest is about 800 meters long, if you're into SA Gold mining history, it's a must, but if you're expecting a buzzing town you'll be disappointed.

10. It's just 4 hours from Joburg and the fresh air will clear your skin, sinuses and your lungs, just in time for your return to the pollution of Jozi Town!


We'll definitely be back and next time we'll take the boys. 
It's been 3 weeks and the tent is still scrunched in a pile in a bucket, at the back of our shed (perhaps we should look into that). 

Huge commendations to Merry Pebbles for their outstanding housekeeping and cleanliness. Do book yourself into a chalet if you're not into camping and enjoy the benefits of being in the forest without sleeping on the damp floor. 

Take your camera, a board game and some binoculars for the many eagles you'll spot daily along the Sabie - Pilgrim's Rest drive. 

Merry Pebbles 

Our first tent

The Sabie Forestry Museum

One of the many waterfalls in and around Sabie (Lisbon Falls)

Bourkes Luck Potholes 

One of the many views and mountain ranges

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The Pinnacle

My Divine Freedom

It was the middle of a particularly difficult week for me. The heaviness of the grief I had become accustomed to, was weighing me down. There are times in our lives when the pain we feel is so comfortable and familiar, that we forget what sunshine and happiness feels like. That, is the exact same state I was in – numb.

So there I was, driving down a familiar road in Rivonia after completing another sales call at a neighbouring premises. I had seen the crystal shop from the street on two previous occasions 8 months before this day. I had mentioned to a friend that we should make efforts to visit this store, yet as time had passed, so did the urgency to visit. 

Today was different, today I needed to go in. I was being beckoned by the thought of familiar surroundings, positive energy and good vibes. All the things I needed so badly at this time of my life.

It wasn't exactly the easiest store to get into either, well at least not on this particular day. Two picket fence gates had to be opened, a buzzer had to be pressed, the kinds of challenges that could push one over the edge in this state. The chirpy voice welcomed me in to the property and sang instructions to me which included walking through the large green gates and turning immediately left thereafter. There she stood. 

A welcome face

I would soon find out that Jeanette was in fact the owner of Divine Crystals in Rivonia. Her body and colouring reminded me of a Fluorite stone, images of mauve and emerald green palettes came to mind. Her bright and smiling face beams at me as Jeanette leads me to her room full of crystals. It is a small shop but the energy is tangible - the same comforting energy I was expecting to receive. 

As I drag myself through the process of small talk, I listen more than I speak. My heart is sore and with it my body is slumped over with hunching shoulders, heavy with the burdens I'm carrying. All I want is to be left alone with the stones. But Jeanette wants to show me her meditation room, and so I follow. 

Let the healing begin

I stand in the meditation room, physically hurting from what I can only describe as "a pain in my solar plexus". The sun streams through the massive window on my left, there is so much peace and power in this space. But I need to get out, "It's too much.", I tell her. Being particularly familiar with the power of stones and its effect on me, we walk back towards the original room full of bright crystals and stones. The stabbing pain is now in my chest and my face grimaces with agony as Jeanette continues to talk. 

We share, we bond, and after a while the pain is now in my throat.
"You're in the angry stage of your break up, aren't you", she observes. "Hold your body and declare your anger. As you do, you release it."

And in that moment, almost as the full stop ended her sentence, I lose the ability to hold in the pain and I let out a whimper, which turns into a sob and then - I cry. I cry on Jeanette's shoulder, a perfect stranger. I cry because the pain has left my body and my soul is purging. She holds me, and as two strangers find themselves in each others arms, I'm smiling up at the Universe on the inside because this is exactly where I'm meant to be.

Freedom in the shape of release

After our chat Jeanette and I walk back to the reception area. In my hands I hold salts from the Namibian salt pans for aura cleansing and strict instructions to enjoy a long, hot bath. Pity I don't own one in my new house, but I keep them for the moment I do. The Selenite stone she has given me is tucked up inside the packet of literature she has given me to read. This woman is such a beautiful soul and I know I will see her again. 

From the moment I stepped out her shop as I headed back to my car, I felt as if a ton of heaviness has literally been lifted off my shoulders. For some reason, I knew everything was going to be alright from that moment on. 

As I sit describing the event to my mom during our regular Skype chats, I share my sense of freedom.  "I'm free mom, I'm free from the burden and pain I've been carrying. I'm free!" My mother reassuringly smiles back across the screen. "I am finally free and I can feel the joy!" The rest of my week was, and still is, full of joy and peace in my heart.

My message from Sam

A few days later I get an email from Samantha. 

The only thing that Sam and I have in common is that our birthdays are in the same month and that we both know her ex boyfriend. We've never met, but Sam and I know each other through Facebook and through a time in her life when she reached out to me via social media - the rest is history.Like so many people she was unaware of the recent break up I had endured and hurt I was feeling.

"I had a dream about you a few nights ago," she shares with me in her message. "You and I were sitting on the beach with the water lapping at our feet. You were smiling and the sun was rising. The glow of the sunrise reflected on your face,", she writes. "Tan, you turned to me while we sat on the beach as the sun rose and you looked at me and said, 'I am free'. So I don't know what that means to you but I hope you're well."

Believe me when I tell you that I literally burst out laughing when I read that, but in the same breath I know that the Universe is supporting you and I both through life's challenges. What we choose to see is really up how open you are to receiving the guidance and messages that we're provided, every single day.  

Are you open to receiving ? 

Toothache - a reminder to count your blessings.

Remember I told you that life was about remembering and forgetting? 
Well if you didn't read that post, today was about remembering.

I sat in the waiting room for the doctor to call me. It's been a rough week for me, one that included moving my life (and the contents of our 5 year relationship) into my own little flatlet 8 kilometres from the place we once shared a home. 

As I sat in my chair in a pile, the faces around me all seemed fixated on me simultaneously, as if I had an oblong head, large black eyes and purple fur. It could have been my disgustingly good looks, everyone aches to sniffle like a boss, and believe me, I was owning this!

Use Depression As Your Guide

Standing at the payment counter, I resentfully handed over my new credit card. It had been taken out as an emergency option to pay my unexpected deposit on my flatlet as well as the move and first months rent to get there. The swipe for the R1 200 doctors bill left me cold - and angry. 

Being unwell is the tell tale sign that the Tan within, simply isn't happy. It happens to me every couple of months and of late, the gaps between ill-health and wellness have become smaller. 

See, I thought I was fine and upstairs I am, but emotionally my physical ailments tell a different story. Your body is your compass, listen to it and it will guide you. As I trudge through Checkers, my heavy feet and slumped over body verify my emotional state. My soul left the building a couple of days ago, as if on vacation while I deal with life. 

Face To Face With Toothless

As I blankly stare at the selection of water hose's in front of me (I think I landed up on auto-pilot at this stage) an obviously haggard and destitute young man approaches me. 

My initial reaction is a cold one, I know what's going to come out of his mouth and it's going to be a sob story. While I'm the first to help a helpless and lost cause, I'm not in the mood to listen to someone's whining. I've got my own problems. No doubt he needs "R6 for a loaf of bread". 

He starts rapping at me in Afrikaans, I catch fragments of familiar words I can make out between the pathetic grimace on his face. I tell him I don't have money, cash money. And then for some stupid reason I tell him I've got a card. My logic is that if he's going to bullshit me, I have a come back in the form of plastic. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine", I concoct. He's still pointing at his mouth, his teeth, his face. If you haven't gathered, my Afrikaans isn't that great. 

His "recital" takes us to the medicine counter inside the store. He's apparently looking for Naeltjie olie (a Clove oil mixture you put on infected teeth, a cheap alternative to seeing a dentist) and while I'm inquiring with the pharmacist, he's being interrogated by store security behind me. 

If you know me personally, you'll know that I'm pretty easy to manipulate. I have a soft spot for helping people that has been a trait since childhood (be sure to ask my mom about the time she came home from work and I had a friend, his mother and younger brother camping out in my room because they had nowhere to go) perhaps I'm just a problem solver :)

Wake Up Tan

As I stood paying for the Naeltjie olie at the counter, I resentfully handed over R40 as the pharmacist confirms that my mystery man had, in fact, visited the same counter 5 minutes before, just a few rand short of the transaction. 

Why was he making this my problem? Why the hell must I pay for his stuff, I've got bigger problems, I'm not in the mood to do charity and I'm in credit card debt - again! Why couldn't I just say no, walk away and be done with it.

At this stage my patience has worn thing, again if you know me at face value, you would never be able to tell the difference between an irritated and an irate me, they look the same but feel different on the inside. I hand over the little brown bag, with an almost sarcastic 'There you go". He hails back praises of gratitude in my direction and I could have sworn he called me Tannie! (Afrikaans for auntie, usually said to older women by younger people).

My inner dialogue was something along the line of "Bet you he's gonna be drinking with the money he saved on those drops", the bitter version of myself pushed my trolley back down the aisle. Where the heck were those wall frame hooks I had been searching for? And then it hit me. 

Swipe after swipe the woman at the checkout counter exchanges glances at me. "Would you like a plastic bag", she asks. She smiles gentle at me and I coax a feeble smile back in her direction. I had been so caught up in my own self pity that I had forgotten, until now, that I had just returned from a personal consultation with one of the best doctors in the country and received the best medication I could afford - because I can afford it. And yet, here's a man who cannot afford a dentist (for whatever reason he's downtrodden and out of luck) and is in need of something as inexpensive as a bottle of Naeltjie olie and I'm that neurotic, disbelieving and somewhat jaded individual feeling as if I'm being taken advantage of. 

Of course in this day and age (and living in South Africa) we are constantly being taken advantage of, but regardless of the circumstances, it was a reminder to be grateful for what I had, when it felt like I had the world against me and I was "so broke". 

As I leave the Checkers store the same man sits on the public bench near the exit of the store, he's eating a dry bread roll. I've just had a Wimpy burger, chips and a coke for R60. His Naeltjie olie cost me R34. I see the bigger picture. 

It's only official when it's on Facebook

I've just ended my 5 year relationship and the last part of the process was changing my personal details on Facebook. Changing from "in a relationship with" to "single" was probably the hardest thing I've had to do in my recent adult years, probably because when you do so, it becomes public knowledge that you've failed dismally at what was meant to go from "in a relationship" to "engaged".

For some reason, although it has been over a month since our breakup discussion, it's not really official till it's on Facebook. And as I make this final change, I realise that it's the last little detail that keeps us together. Now, it's over, really over. It's on Facebook and the world knows.

Almost as if it's been a dirty lie, the finality of this move has reopened wounds that are bearly a month old. The silent suffering I've had to do as I "Like" and comment on his status updates. Has it all been a lie or is this just how things are after you shift from lovers to friends? The pang of separation wounds me, the ache of guilt and torment regarding the finality of this leaves me unnerved and cold. How powerful social media has become. 

You're shocked, I can tell

No matter how hard I try to keep this simple, my emotional state is both complex and decisive, yet in a twisted paradox of apparent simplicity I hurt. A click of a mouse changes my whole world, a life that I've dedicated my time and efforts to with him, for him, about him. It ends our Summer days laughing in the complex pool and our Winter spooning sessions. It ends our photo memories and anniversary milestones. It's goodbye to couple selfies of places we're visiting and pin drops at our favourite restaurants.  

One click and our 5 years seems to dissolve into a series of flashbacks, our hearts ripped from one another where they were once knit together in what I thought was perfection.

Alas, life goes on. Don't cry for me, don't shed tears or mourn. For what seems like the end of "us", is a brand new beginning for "me". 


Next thing you know, you're moving on


Funny thing life is. You find the strength from somewhere and you just continue on, although everything inside you pleads for answers and closure, you just keep moving forward. It's as if I've been living with a complete stranger for all these years, nothing, not even "lets talk". Would have been nice to know I meant something, anything. 

But, I guess actions speak louder than words and if he wanted me to stay, he would have fought for me. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted Toad, I'm sorry I'm not the Dreamgirl you thought I was. I hope you find her, I hope you find that person that makes you become a Warrior for love and the Hero of your own love story. 

Yet with all these questions swimming in the cesspool of what was once my adoration for romance and young love, I'm hoping that one day I can change that status from "single" to "engaged" to "Married to". Although life may seem to want to break me, the Universe is really conspiring to help me achieve my best life, my best love and my best version of myself. It's faith that gets me through, an faith that will make me stronger. 

It may not be official until it's on Facebook, but the writing was always on the wall. C'est la vie!

Angus

His name is Angus and he's our resident Jumping Spider. 

I've grown quite attached to him, his big eyes following me around the bathroom as I move.  He's what I refer to as #totesadores and I have a legitimate love for him, his smiling eyes and his cheery disposition.  I have a strict no kill rule in our home when it comes to these little guys. Spiders of all sizes sleep and live within our home - all except Button Spiders which are potentially dangerous (as you may have noticed in this post).

These are some pics of Angus posing on a bottle in the bathroom. He's bigger than the other Jumping Spiders, he smiles a lot too. 

I haven't seen him since Craig opened the bathroom window, maybe he's on vacation? I'm sad cause he didn't say goodbye but I'm happy if he's having a good time - so long as he sends a postcard! :)

Click on Pics To See His Smile 

Mowana Magic - Spa Night Out For Two

If there's one thing I know for certain its massage therapy and my recent trip to Mowana Spa at the Fourways Indaba didn't disappoint.

Typically I am hesitant to spend money at spa's as I find I know too much, think of the hairstylist getting advice from another. The knowledge of proper lymph drainage versus correct petrissage techniques find me more tense and critical within my own mindspace instead of on some lush island in my dream world where I'm supposed to be. Tonight would be different, I deserve to switch off. 

I had decided to spoil us for a change, a little bit of rest and relaxation is exactly what Mr H needed on this particular day. Mowana Spa's current Winter special was R1000 for the both of us and I honestly didn't expect much. The attention to detail was phenomenal and I couldn't stop commending the staff on the level of service that we receive.

Now I don't want to go and ruin it for you if you were expecting to go, so if you are going to look into Mowana - take my word for it and stop reading here! For those who couldn't care less let me tell you what we received for our R1000 and give my honest feedback on the experience. 

The spa has been overhauled since its origin as Mangwanani. On arrival we received warm welcome beverages and after a simple clipboard reference check we were given our keys to our respective lockers as well as pamphlet and pen to keep on us during the sessions - indemnities!

Impressed by the personalised name badge on my locker, a snug robe and pair of slippers greeted me as I opened the locker door. The entire bathroom is covered in petals, towels, scents and shower facilities with full use of their shampoo, conditioner and body washes. Excitedly Mr H and I were lead to our table where we were able to order any beverages we desired at no extra cost. Soon after a gourmet starter soup was served I remember thinking "Ahh, this is what they meant by dinner included" - I was soon to be corrected.

Gently lead to our outdoor heated group massage room, therapists stand like soldiers in silence as we enter. My only crit is that the heaters were a little too close to our faces but we all sat in silence as music gently played in the background. I think it would be in the best interest of the spa to perhaps allow the therapists to enjoy each others skills as part of their ongoing training, perhaps they do already? My reason for this comment is due to the several layers of dermis I think I may have lost as my therapist scrubbed and scrubbed my calves with sugar scrub for most of the session. I should have just said something to her but in silence - I suffered.  Mr H seemed happy and relaxed and thats all I wanted. 

Dinner was then served after the session and it was nothing short of a culinary treat that included chicken, veggies and an avo-type sauce. 5 star!

We were then shown to our individual couple massage rooms and given the choice of 3 types of massage, two of them being Calabash and Hot Stone. The setting finds us surrounded by the unusual sound of croaking frogs as they serenade us from outside the open veld. While it was very peaceful it almost seemed like a chaotic aftermath as people started wrapping up and the noise levels increased between the therapists. I don't want to sound pedantic but were twice interrupted, fully unclothed and on the bed by fellow therapists wanting to know if our session was over. 

A chocolate fondant dessert followed after our session and again I have nothing bad to report back on. We were given carte blanche to order whatever drinks we wanted at no extra cost. The value for money aspect was fantastic and we left feeling spoilt with our R100 Mowana Spa voucher and chocolate gift box. 

If you're looking for a place to unwind and simply enjoy time out at, Mowana Spa is offering a lot more than I've seen at many of the spa's I've been to. Indaba has done themselves a huge favour by keeping the spa in tact after Mangwanani's departure. With a little more training the therapists could get this right and the spa and hotel could benefit hugely. Its not that its doomed to failure by the obvious self taught / in-house training they've received, its that if you want to impress me you've gotta be better than I am. 

Overall experience 8 out of 10. Chances of returning 7 out of 10. Perhaps you should visit and decide for yourself.