4 years have passed since I had the inclination, motivation or inspiration to participate in life. Let me assure you, I have a sturdy track record for being as passionate about a bag of peanuts as I am selling holidays to travel agents. I've always been passionate, but somewhere, my interests in self development and creativity faded with my hopes and dreams for a future.
That zing I refer to as passion was no longer present. I found myself failing to commit my time to my holistic healing course. I found myself disinterested in getting up in the morning let alone being present and in the moment each day. My life was full of distractions, my cellphone permanently fixed to my hand. I found that I couldn't keep still, I forgot how to just enjoy life let alone know what to be passionate about.
I call it spiritual amnesia. I had many conversations with my mother about where my lust for life could have gone, searching for it like the missing sock that relocates from the moment you put it in the washing machine.
We searched for it through conversation, she prompted my heart and sifted through my mind with me - which often lead to tears of frustration, genuine sorrow and a series of days whereby I beat myself up for not being "more".
I couldn't remember what it felt like to be genuinely inspired and piece by piece I tried to put together a solution to the mystery of the missing mojo. I just didn't feel anything for anything at all. In these moments, the void is real.
Life gets you down, routine gets you down, work gets you down and suddenly you're a miserable human being with a history of incomplete tasks gnawing at your confidence. The more you're down, the less you want to be up again.
4 years is a long time
"I feel dead inside", I explained in another hour long conversation with my mother on the phone. "I feel nothing, about anything!", my voice strained as I held back tears.
Sometimes, it is not so easy to find a solution when we have no idea what this condition we face is called or in my case, what caused it.
For the most part it feels like,
1. You have no motivation at all, apathy in general about everything.
2. You won't be rushed, who cares if there's a second pile of washing, it's the washing's fault it's there not mine!
3. Things that used to inspire you don't, well not as they used to.
4. You'd rather be asleep.
5. You blame yourself for being lazy, people may even tell you that you're undisciplined.
6. You don't see the point, of anything really, so dust gathers on your favourite book collection and the dog hasn't had a wash in about 3 months.
7. As much as you tell yourself you're on a 'break', you can't help but feel like a failure, there's a burning inside yourself to do more, but what is the 'more' you seek and when will it grace us with it's presence.
8. People just label it as depression.
9. You've labelled it as depression.
10. It could be depression, but it's not, because depression has a level of emotion attached to it, and this is just - nothing. It's apathy really.
So there I was on this hamster wheel called life. Feed the kids, feed the cat, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. Is this what I signed up for? Is this how people become bitter and jaded? Yes! I was bitter, jaded and everyone could see I was miserable.
Your drought is over, you've just got to learn to sing in the rain
It's literally raining buckets outside my window, there's something cathartic about water. I've often wondered if the weather affects my mood, and on many occasions joked that the weather was affected by me!
The truth is that inspiration, like happiness, is a choice. Now, hear me out before you apathetically throw an unread book at me. Inspiration as per my online Thesaurus search is an emotion, which is a noun, wait for it, for a mental state. Boom!
As the rain pours, I can feel the drought subsiding. Not because I'm suddenly inspired, but because I realise that the source of my drought and the duration of the same, has been a 4 year period of growth and adjustment. Where have you been for the last few days/months/years of your drought and when did it start? I guarantee you, you can pinpoint it to the day.
In the last 4 years, I've endured a 5 year break up, 3 house moves, a new relationship with children involved (that I know nothing about), an emotional breakdown caused by burnout in 2015 and somewhere along the line the absence of my sanity. Yet, lil Miss GottaHaveMySh*tTogether wants to still be climbing a corporate ladder, writing a biography or winning at life in between everything - and this just isn't possible. Inspiration comes to us when we stop, create the peace we so crave and allow the creative juices to flow again. The drought is there because you closed the flood gates by doing what you were either expected to or forced to do. You closed the flood gates when you stopped looking after your own well being.
This may take some time before you feel the cold trickle on those hot sluice gates, but the best place to start is knowing what you're working toward. Perhaps you don't know what the next step is, perhaps you have no idea how your life is going to turn out. Here's what you do know:
1. You're powerful, you create your own reality and you have more potential than you realise. Don't tell me you didn't know that, because feeling stuck like this happens to those who know they want and deserve better.
2. You already know what you don't want.
3. You already know what makes you happy. Be it people, animals, vintage cars or writing movie reviews. You know you, and if you don't - make a date with yourself!
4. Break down your goals into small steps. Today you decide not to complain about anything petty (this is a personal goal) perhaps tomorrow you decide you need help in a certain area so you sign up for a workshop, short course or a lecture. Next week you decide to care for yourself more, so you put on your favourite dress or buy yourself those daisy covered gumboots to play in the rain with.
5. You know you're worth more, so you know that everything is already all okay.
6. Buy yourself a journal, even if you don't feel like it, start writing down and journalling where your thoughts go. Where your thoughts go, your energy flows and that attracts more of the same!
7. Remember the times you got life right, perhaps find old emails or letters from clients and/or friends that appreciated your unique talents and gifts. Those moments count!
Be consistent
Tonight I tidy out my spare room. Tonight I light candles and enjoy a bubble bath. Tonight I get out of my own way. Tonight I stop making excuses for why I can't be more and I vow to take action, one day at a time until the inspiration returns. Remember, the Universe supports action - make a decision and the answers come to you!
Just opened my email to this:
"During the times we think we’re being “unproductive,” the seeds of new worlds are germinating within us, and they need peace to grow." - Martha Beck
It's time to go within and get real, but first, that bubble bath!
Showing posts with label opinions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opinions. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 March 2016
Sunday, 22 December 2013
December Holidays With The In Laws
Every year it happens to me. Somehow my plans are changed, get snubbed out due to bad weather or finances or someone gets on my nerves.
This year I've decided to consciously relinquish control and just go with the flow, even if I'm not the captain of the ship this year. Here are some of my coping tips if you're spending some time with the in laws.
Choose your battles
If you're anything like me, I battle to see the grey in a clearly black or white situation. There's always one black sheep that will rile you up and get you fuming. Martha Beck recently posted an excerpt from one of her books about family gatherings.
Always have a plan 'B' to keep yourself busy
Typically I shrug off family trips with "I'm gonna pack extra magazines just in case I get free time go under the radar for a bit". Problem is that when you've read every single downloaded magazine on your Zinnio App on the way down to Durban, you'll more than likely have nothing else up your sleeve for the next 8 days.
My plan B's include :
This year I've been told I'm going to be sleeping 'open plan' on a blow up mattress. While I wasn't initially ecstatic that I wouldn't have any privacy, I'm glad I asked up front. I'll be taking my own hand held fans with back up batteries and charger. I will be pitching my mini 2 man tent in the lounge (no jokes) and I'm going to ensure that the I have enough mosquito repellent to keep the bugs away. Might as well do this on my terms, gotta get comfy for the 8 day stay!
Prepare for 2014
I'm kinda weird like this, but I like to plan.
I always make sure that I have my favourite pen and journal for some time of reflection and introspection. Next year I'm planning to get more involved in wildlife, go away more often over weekend adventures and want to start dancing again.
If you have the Pinterest app on your iPhone or iPad, you'll be able to browse around and create some mood boards for your upcoming wedding, business, dream home. It's a lot of fun.
Be an observer - channel your inner voyeur
While I've been 'part' of my other half's extended family for 5 years, this is essentially only my 2nd stay over with them. My 2013 resolution was to take more videos, for the sake of capturing the essence of the memories being made around me.
This year I'm going to be the voyeur for the close knit family, and observe.
I wonder how much they will spill on film? Watch this space.
Just chill, ok?
So wherever you are, whatever you're doing (or not doing) try make the most of it. Maybe inspiration will hit you, maybe you will sleep it all away after all it's your holiday too!
Be polite, be helpful and keep your opinions to yourself.
Next year I'm going to 'Romania' - Remain here - but until then I'm gonna sit back, let them drive and see the upside of not having to do anything unless I'm told too.
Happy Holidays.
This year I've decided to consciously relinquish control and just go with the flow, even if I'm not the captain of the ship this year. Here are some of my coping tips if you're spending some time with the in laws.
Choose your battles
If you're anything like me, I battle to see the grey in a clearly black or white situation. There's always one black sheep that will rile you up and get you fuming. Martha Beck recently posted an excerpt from one of her books about family gatherings.
Martha says, "Before you meet your relatives this
season, take a few moments to sit quietly and acknowledge what you wish they
were like. Then prepare to accept them even if they behave as they have always
done in the past. At best you may be surprised to find that they actually are
changing, that some of your wishes have come true. At worst you’ll feel regrettably
detached from your kinfolk as you watch them play out their usual
psychoses."
Always have a plan 'B' to keep yourself busy
Typically I shrug off family trips with "I'm gonna pack extra magazines just in case I get free time go under the radar for a bit". Problem is that when you've read every single downloaded magazine on your Zinnio App on the way down to Durban, you'll more than likely have nothing else up your sleeve for the next 8 days.
My plan B's include :
- Updating my iPhone with the latest tracks from 2013 as well as some Golden oldies from the 80's and 90's off iTunes. Interestingly to know that until 26th of December iTunes has a gift a day (free downloads) to Apple users. Download the 12 Days of Gifts app to get your free gifts.
- Shopping on the Amazon.com website for some Kindle books to download and sink my teeth into. I've mixed it up a bit purchasing books on Marketing, Angel Therapy and Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages.
- Downloading some games onto my iPad. Gosh I sound like an Apple Junkie but if you haven't downloaded fun apps like "Dumb ways to Die", "Can You Escape" and "Bitstrips" you're missing out! For those wanting something more practical, be sure to download Pick n Pay and Discovery Health's apps to view your profiles and find out how to earn points.
- Catch up on those assignments. I'm going to have to put all my digital downloads onto my iPad so I can do some much overdue correspondence for my diploma.
Be prepared for anything
This year I've been told I'm going to be sleeping 'open plan' on a blow up mattress. While I wasn't initially ecstatic that I wouldn't have any privacy, I'm glad I asked up front. I'll be taking my own hand held fans with back up batteries and charger. I will be pitching my mini 2 man tent in the lounge (no jokes) and I'm going to ensure that the I have enough mosquito repellent to keep the bugs away. Might as well do this on my terms, gotta get comfy for the 8 day stay!
Prepare for 2014
I'm kinda weird like this, but I like to plan.
I always make sure that I have my favourite pen and journal for some time of reflection and introspection. Next year I'm planning to get more involved in wildlife, go away more often over weekend adventures and want to start dancing again.
If you have the Pinterest app on your iPhone or iPad, you'll be able to browse around and create some mood boards for your upcoming wedding, business, dream home. It's a lot of fun.
Be an observer - channel your inner voyeur
While I've been 'part' of my other half's extended family for 5 years, this is essentially only my 2nd stay over with them. My 2013 resolution was to take more videos, for the sake of capturing the essence of the memories being made around me.
This year I'm going to be the voyeur for the close knit family, and observe.
I wonder how much they will spill on film? Watch this space.
Just chill, ok?
So wherever you are, whatever you're doing (or not doing) try make the most of it. Maybe inspiration will hit you, maybe you will sleep it all away after all it's your holiday too!
Be polite, be helpful and keep your opinions to yourself.
Next year I'm going to 'Romania' - Remain here - but until then I'm gonna sit back, let them drive and see the upside of not having to do anything unless I'm told too.
Happy Holidays.
Sunday, 15 December 2013
To MRU on MK
Firstly, let me apologise for the delay. It has been a whirlwind of a first month at my new post, but let me assure you that I'm a lot wiser than I was before I started. I've had my share of personal challenges, sickness (laryngitis) and of course a major travel bug, the kind that makes you want to explore the world!
Virgin Territory
Trust me when I tell you that as I handed over one role and left the company I was at on the Friday, the daunting beginning of starting at a new company the following Monday made the transition a reality with very little time to over analyse it all.
As my first week in my new role came to an end, I found myself on the eve of my first ever international flight to Mauritius (MRU) via Air Mauritius (MK). Craig was dropping me off at the Gautrain in Sandton and we would enjoy breakfast together before my departure.
But why was I so uncomfortable? I mean, here I was about to grab a much anticipated (and to an extent a self fulfilled prophecy) travel opportunity and there I sat with tears in my eyes and mascara running down my cheeks. The more I tried to calm down and wipe those tears away, the more they ran.
The rest of the morning my ride on the Gautrain and arrival at OR Tambo was all a blurred state of misery. I had convinced myself (as if I had a choice) that I could always just "pack up and go home". I relied on my inner mother voice to take over and after a firm talking to I sorted out my inner niggles coaxed myself towards a new adventure.
It was a familiar discomfort, one I've felt many times in my twenties when I had to end a relationship, close the door to the past or move residence yet again. It was the feeling of complete fear, overwhelming exhaustion and a smolder of anticipation deep inside me. It's the very same fear that has pushed me through my personal boundaries many, many times before.
Embracing The Unfamiliar
I have no doubt that if you're a personal friend of mine, you're probably reading this and shaking your head in disbelief that I could have been that stressed out about it all. The good news is that as tired as I was on so many levels and as unprepared as I was at the time for whatever 'Passport Control' meant or how to deal with it, I was ready to push out of my comfort zone for the sake of the experience.
Slumped in my aisle seat, I decided to just relinquish it all for the sake of being 'present' and in the moment. The air host was a lovely man, his strong French Mauritian accent pinched me back to reality that this life long dream was in fact happening.
6 Days Of Discovery - 10 Things I Never Knew Before This Trip
I won't bore you with my thought processes, I will however share with you a couple of travel gems for those unfamiliar with Mauritius and a couple of photos during my stay. A glimpse if you will into my adventures and discoveries.
1. Mauritius is not 20 square kilometers!
The island is approximately 300 kilometers if you take a round trip along the coast. The air is humid and salty on arrival and there is only 1 highway.
2. The people are really, really friendly.
If there is a country we could all take a feather from, it's this one. They have a colourful variety of cultures and religions and yet they all get along and respect each other.
3. They have fauna and flora that you've never seen before.
You know that you're in a different country when the animals and plants look different. I keep describing Mauritius as 'the set of Jurassic Park'.
4. The island is surrounded by a lagoon. And by lagoon they mean a coral reef that wraps around the island protecting the shores from 'white horses' and shore break dumps.
5. If you want a bargain, go to the Port Louis market. I learned this the hard way, being ripped off terribly at a Boutique store. For half the amount of money, I purchased twice the amount of curios at the markets.
6. They bargain like bosses! Before I left someone told me that Mauritians don't barter, but believe me, they do. So if you're not au fait with talking down pricetags, this is a good country to start with.
7. An SPCA nightmare. The streets are littered with stray cats and dogs that just run around unattended and uncared for. This is good news if you're an animal lover wanting to change the world - Mauritius needs you!
8. There are coral reef's that will change your life. Next time I go, I'm taking an underwater camera. I lost so many opportunities to capture the Parrot fish, sea snakes and star fish that litter the reef just meters off the beaches. This is a divers paradise!
9. Go all inclusive. I noticed that things can get quite expensive over there, even though our Rand is 3x stronger than the Mauritian Rupee. With this said, don't underestimate the 4 and 5 star hotels that offer great value for money and all inclusive means you don't have to worry about a bill at the end of your stay.
10. 21 Sub Climates to enjoy. Mauritius is as ever changing in climate as the 4 seasons in one day in Cape Town. Mozzies and humidity, rain and sunny skies. Something to look forward to no matter what part of the island you are on or what time of the day you're visiting.
 |
| Air Mauritius |
 |
| Found on the beach |
 |
| View from my room at Le Meridien |
 |
| How about a walk on the beach? |
 |
| A selfy - pinch me I'm here! |
 |
| Catching some sun |
 |
| Breakfast at Shells Restaurant at Le Meridien |
 |
| The Flame tree - like our Jacaranda only orange. |
 |
| Pamplemousse Gardens Giant lillies |
 |
| Port Louis markets |
 |
| View from my room at St Regis |
 |
| A local birdie that is super cheeky and very colourful |
 |
| Special treat - Henna tattoo by the ladies at St Regis |
 |
| Boundless beauty |
 |
| At the top of a lookout |
 |
| Changes on the beach - bouldered and beautiful |
 |
| Taking a drive |
 |
| Le Meridien by night |
 |
| Mountains - who would have thought? |
 |
| Le Meridien by day |
 |
| Heaven |
 |
| Beaches at Le Meridien |
 |
| Nirvana Room - Le Meridien |
 |
| La Faya Restaurant - Le Meridien |
 |
| View from the Family Suite - Le Meridien |
 |
| More beautiful mountains |
 |
| Site inspection at The Westin (Previously the Grand Mauritian) |
 |
| I recognise you! |
 |
| Beauty at The Westin |
 |
| Old Catholic church at Pample Mousse Garden |
 |
| Pample Mousse Gardens |
 |
| Old Catholic Church near Pample Mousse Gardens |
 |
| Sunset at St Regis |
 |
| St Regis |
 |
| St Regis |
 |
| Pools at St Regis |
 |
| St Regis |
 |
| St Regis |
This truly was a life changing experience which I would recommend to anyone who hasn't yet been. Just a 4 hour fight away and a holiday that is as affordable for couples as it is for families, Mauritius is on my 2014 calendar to share with my Toad. See you there!
Thank you to The Holiday Factory, Air Mauritius, Le Meridien & St Regis Le Morne as well as Connections Tours.
For great deals on these hotels ask your local travel agent for The Holiday Factory packages.
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Tanith & Goliath
Saturday Night - visualise this. Its a good friends birthday and Craig and I are out at dinner to celebrate, but I'm not the one close enough to the birthday girl to know anyone and I smile politely at the guests as we are introduced.
Sitting with complete strangers brings out the chameleon in me. I'm almost trapped in a layered moment of dialogue with myself as I consider which characteristics of myself I wish to portray to these strangers.
If it makes any sense to you, I'm still considering if I wanna ease into the conversation with an agreeable and timid persona or get straight to the unapologetically and unique person I am. Sometimes the latter which is my true personality is too much to take in, its not so much a facade is it is a strategy, a decision I come to depending on my mood and the type of people at the table. I choose peace.
A Mixed Bag
So I'm sitting at the table asking questions directed at the guests, typical things like their occupations, their area of residence and if they've eaten at this restaurant before. Some see it as an icebreaker but I'm was just inquisitive.
Across from me a blonde bombshell dominates the conversation between flicks of her platinum tassles that flee over her shoulder. Her brother sits alongside her and doesn't say much but as the night progresses his comical facial expressions hit my funny bone hard, reducing me to tears as I cry on Craigs shoulder.
To my right the oddest pair of colleagues and friends sit and chat between themselves. They are the strangest pair I've seen since Jen and I were introduced 9 years ago, two contrasting people with so much history between them that being friends is almost mandatory after such a long time. The one gent is a little taller than me, the other a gargantuan man who towers over my 5 foot 2 frame. He has a dry approach to life and a missing filter from his mouth. I believe in the good in everyone, sometimes though, its hard to recognise it at first sight.
The Challenger Rises
The conversation then turns to me as I question Blondie's Astrological predispositions, something I do more-so for interest sake than to pigeon hole people. I like to see if what I know of that sign is in fact true and applicable to the person sitting in front of me, so I question it.
Goliath slaps his forehead in a very public display of disapproval and when I query his actions, he points to the tattoo on his wrist. It is the symbol for some scientific, theory based calculation that clearly inspired him at some stage of his life - that or a dare. If I recall its the Observer Effect which is essentially a theory relating to physics.
According to Wikipedia, and my recollection of the conversation, this theory explains that "it is not possible to observe a system without changing the system, so the observer must be considered part of the system being observed."
He is very proud of his tattoo and pleased that he has educated us all. I agreeably mention how his tattoo, my Astrological reference and the laws of Energy are similarly connected to my Esoteric beliefs. Goliath interjects with disapproval at my apparent confusion that the two may be interlinked and in that moment Goliath meets the David in me.
No Sword, Just Light
Energy healing and Esoteric principles versus 'tried and trusted scientific fact' turned our lighthearted banter into a full on debate. I'm not there to prove a point or enforce my beliefs on other people, but if the Observer Effect is anything to go by, we are essentially both right.
Energy/atoms/molecules that are part of a system require the observer to be part of the system being observed and as such, changing the outcome of the system just by participating. Metaphysics works the same way, science and philosophy meet and in our existence we are all linked with the Universe around us. It is not a separation from existence, we are existence!
Traditionally the term science meant knowledge and Metaphysics (which is the basis of the 3 year Energy Healer Diploma I'm studying towards) is a combination of science and philosophy - the existence of man, space and time, cause and effect and possibility. It is the education of the science of man in conjunction with the natural laws and processes designed by God. If I've managed to confuse you, think Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Aura Cleansing, Past Lives and Soul Evolution.
The Nonsense Of It All
For a brief moment I felt as if I was in the Truman Show, as if everything I stood for was being judged and ridiculed. What if my belief systems were so 'pie in the sky' that I sounded foolish, even to myself.
Just as I start doubting myself because of my lack of 'proven scientific fact' I recall every symbolic dream and premonition I've had in this life since childhood. I remember messages from passed over loved ones and detailed images from passed over strangers to me for friends and family of those I know or may have just met. All of these experiences have been accurate and well received.
I consider my personal journey, my own Angelic experiences and my love for nature and I'm certain, with a deep sense of knowing that I am in fact in tune, loved and gifted and if its means I'm labelled a freak or a dreamer then that's OK too. :P
As for Goliath, well we landed up hugging each other goodbye, I think he had the last laugh as he lifted me into the air - sadly my back is suffering because of it but in the end, love wins.
Sitting with complete strangers brings out the chameleon in me. I'm almost trapped in a layered moment of dialogue with myself as I consider which characteristics of myself I wish to portray to these strangers.
If it makes any sense to you, I'm still considering if I wanna ease into the conversation with an agreeable and timid persona or get straight to the unapologetically and unique person I am. Sometimes the latter which is my true personality is too much to take in, its not so much a facade is it is a strategy, a decision I come to depending on my mood and the type of people at the table. I choose peace.
A Mixed Bag
So I'm sitting at the table asking questions directed at the guests, typical things like their occupations, their area of residence and if they've eaten at this restaurant before. Some see it as an icebreaker but I'm was just inquisitive.
Across from me a blonde bombshell dominates the conversation between flicks of her platinum tassles that flee over her shoulder. Her brother sits alongside her and doesn't say much but as the night progresses his comical facial expressions hit my funny bone hard, reducing me to tears as I cry on Craigs shoulder.
To my right the oddest pair of colleagues and friends sit and chat between themselves. They are the strangest pair I've seen since Jen and I were introduced 9 years ago, two contrasting people with so much history between them that being friends is almost mandatory after such a long time. The one gent is a little taller than me, the other a gargantuan man who towers over my 5 foot 2 frame. He has a dry approach to life and a missing filter from his mouth. I believe in the good in everyone, sometimes though, its hard to recognise it at first sight.
The Challenger Rises
The conversation then turns to me as I question Blondie's Astrological predispositions, something I do more-so for interest sake than to pigeon hole people. I like to see if what I know of that sign is in fact true and applicable to the person sitting in front of me, so I question it.
Goliath slaps his forehead in a very public display of disapproval and when I query his actions, he points to the tattoo on his wrist. It is the symbol for some scientific, theory based calculation that clearly inspired him at some stage of his life - that or a dare. If I recall its the Observer Effect which is essentially a theory relating to physics.
According to Wikipedia, and my recollection of the conversation, this theory explains that "it is not possible to observe a system without changing the system, so the observer must be considered part of the system being observed."
He is very proud of his tattoo and pleased that he has educated us all. I agreeably mention how his tattoo, my Astrological reference and the laws of Energy are similarly connected to my Esoteric beliefs. Goliath interjects with disapproval at my apparent confusion that the two may be interlinked and in that moment Goliath meets the David in me.
No Sword, Just Light
Energy healing and Esoteric principles versus 'tried and trusted scientific fact' turned our lighthearted banter into a full on debate. I'm not there to prove a point or enforce my beliefs on other people, but if the Observer Effect is anything to go by, we are essentially both right.
Energy/atoms/molecules that are part of a system require the observer to be part of the system being observed and as such, changing the outcome of the system just by participating. Metaphysics works the same way, science and philosophy meet and in our existence we are all linked with the Universe around us. It is not a separation from existence, we are existence!
Traditionally the term science meant knowledge and Metaphysics (which is the basis of the 3 year Energy Healer Diploma I'm studying towards) is a combination of science and philosophy - the existence of man, space and time, cause and effect and possibility. It is the education of the science of man in conjunction with the natural laws and processes designed by God. If I've managed to confuse you, think Energy Healing, Chakra Balancing, Aura Cleansing, Past Lives and Soul Evolution.
The Nonsense Of It All
For a brief moment I felt as if I was in the Truman Show, as if everything I stood for was being judged and ridiculed. What if my belief systems were so 'pie in the sky' that I sounded foolish, even to myself.
Just as I start doubting myself because of my lack of 'proven scientific fact' I recall every symbolic dream and premonition I've had in this life since childhood. I remember messages from passed over loved ones and detailed images from passed over strangers to me for friends and family of those I know or may have just met. All of these experiences have been accurate and well received.
I consider my personal journey, my own Angelic experiences and my love for nature and I'm certain, with a deep sense of knowing that I am in fact in tune, loved and gifted and if its means I'm labelled a freak or a dreamer then that's OK too. :P
As for Goliath, well we landed up hugging each other goodbye, I think he had the last laugh as he lifted me into the air - sadly my back is suffering because of it but in the end, love wins.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)