The insiders guide to embracing change

It's been 8 months since our official move to our brand new home. I wouldn't have believed that after 15 years in the same place, I would be moving away from all the people whom I love and cherish to embark on a journey outside of my comfort zone. 

Needless to say, there's an old adage that states that life actually begins outside of said comfort zone and therefore, we should embrace this change, right? Well, it hasn't really been so in my case. 

They didn't tell me it would be this cold!

If I take you through the last 8 months, step by step, you would have a far better idea of my state of mind prior to arriving in a new town that offered few friends and even less memories. Sure I've visited this place before, a 2 hour flight away from my familiar playground and living space isn't exactly far from home. Once done with the visit, I'd pop back home after a couple of days of cold air and colder people. Everyone here is just doing "Me" and no one cares about the tourists and day-trippers. 

So there I was 8 months ago. Sure, I had some pretty challenging and unique circumstances that not everyone would face. I had to change my job, within a career I was building, separated from a company I loved dearly. At the time, I had no idea that there was life after this company, I had no idea what I was doing at all with the new one either! I had to pack up our lives, say goodbye to neighbours and friends with 3 weeks notice. I had to find a new place that was suitable for our needs and then, the farewell party - something the resembled a funeral. On top of all of this, moving is expensive. 

Sounds like fun and excitement to the 20-something version of myself, but the 30-something me wasn't enjoying the transition. I had dreamed about this move, I had even hoped for it, but I had no idea what hit me when it became a reality. I had to start at a new company with people who didn't know me from a bar of soap, in a town where I knew perhaps 20 people max. 4 of them were family and a couple were very, very old school friends that had last seen me with a couple of teeth and pigtails in Grade 3. Getting around was challenge enough because being on the road all day as a salesperson meant that I had to figure out how to drive around (for hours) and navigate my way through one way mazes in the centre of town. There was even a time that I drove down a one way into oncoming traffic. It took me forever to find the clients I needed to see, putting extra pressure on myself to perform. I missed the familiar faces I called on, those who knew me and my story.  

My husband and I were financially brought to our knees, so the next 8 months would ebb and flow between the life of kings and the life of peasants. We only had each other and life was all about making this an "adventure" until about a month in. I completely imploded into a depressive 6 month episode that would inevitably end with me realizing what I should have realized 6 months prior. Surrender to the flow and trust the timing of your life. 

It may not be easy, but it will be worth it - and hopefully pretty like a sunset

If you're feeling stuck in your current circumstance, here are some things that may help you to embrace some change. It's not a 'one size fits all' approach but perhaps you'll learn from my journey. If you're anything like I was, you may have to land up in hospital with colitis before you understand the meaning of surrender. Perhaps if that's not enough to help you see the light of relinquishing control, you'll have every door close in your face, lose your motivation and even find yourself face to face with someone pretending to listen to your boring sob story with glazed eyes and the occasional grunt to confirm they are still listening. If not, take heed of these gems. 

1. Whatever you believe it's going to be like, it probably wont happen the way you think it will. You can arrive guns blazing with a positive attitude and hope for the best, but life is going to shake your expectations and that's okay. Whatever change comes your way is meant to help you grow. 

2. You're so much stronger than you think, perhaps even more so than you believe! No matter what you face, how depressed you are or how many times you cry in disbelief that "this is my life!", you will be alright and things will get better. The pain you feel is temporary in the big picture. 

3. Your vibes will literally attract your tribe so make sure that you're aware of what you're putting out. One of my biggest breakthroughs was faking it, legitimately forcing a smile and pretending my life was amazing. The more I spoke words of joy and gratitude, the more good things started to happen. People will eventually get tired of your story. If you need someone to be a sounding board, turn to a handful of people you trust and leave the complaints at the door when you leave home. As you're driving to work, or when you wake up first thing, gently release yourself from unrealistic expectations. Count your blessings, brush your teeth and breathe. Oh dear child of the Universe, breathe.

4. You will question yourself and your decisions. This process almost looks like a self sabotage game of denial. You may even want to throw in the towel and retreat back to what you know. I can assure you that if you've come this far, you can turn back to what you left behind, but even that won't be the same even if you tried to recreate it. The chapter is over, have faith in the now.  

5. Maybe you're struggling financially, perhaps you're so broke you can't pay attention. The moment you get past the aggravation of not having total control of everything, is the moment you're free. You'll find that somehow, every single time in fact, you'll survive regardless of your current circumstances. Someone may bless you with money (happened to me) someone may give you extra business opportunities (happened to me) and somehow you'll find yourself at elaborate, fancy dinner parties where you're mingling and networking (and eating) with no extra cost to you (also me). The Universe will bless you with opportunities contrary to your current state of mind if you're willing to surrender and state your desires. In these moments you will recharge and you will gain strength. Celebrate in the small victories even while the tears flow, I believe that this is the greatest form of gratitude and gratitude opens the door to more good things. 

6. Your faith will be tested - so hard! If you don't have anything to believe in or a Higher Power to turn to, I suggest you work on Self Love and acceptance ASAP. If you've already got that in check, learn to pray. When I pray now, I pray from a space of surrender. Try it and you'll see that the Universe is working behind the scenes, with or without your participation. 

7. Change isn't a swear word. This means that while you've got one plan in mind and the Universe another, you need to trust that the change you're experiencing is polishing you like a diamond. You cannot and will not be the same person you were in a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Your change may feel slow, but your growth will well up inside you when you realise that the circumstances didn't change, but you just got stronger. It's the rough tumbles here and the hard knocks there that will help you shine brighter than you were before you started. Change is the mirror that is held in front of us and forces us to see ourselves as we truly are. When you do that and embrace your state of being, you're liberated and nothing can eradicate your progress. 

Thanks life, I accept your giant lemon!

8. Be like Elsa - let it go. There was a time that everything that happened found me erupting into explosive episodes out loud and in stereo. My husband would stand and watch me red line in our living room because, wait for it, the garage door wasn't working or I spilled tea on the floor. Not really the kind of emotional quotient that fits the scene, right? I was burning out and I realised that if, at the very least, everything falls down around me, things will work out in the end with, or without, my rambunctious tantrums. 

9. This isn't where you'll be forever. There are times when you feel like this - just - won't end. You almost start tempting fate by declaring, "What next!", a dangerous place to be, believe me. You'll be served plenty more drama if you're willing to ask for it. Ever noticed how drama just attracts more drama? Well, if you're feeling like life is throwing you lemons, use both hands and pluck that baby off the tree for some meringue pie! The same works for joy. Be joyful, playful and stress less about life (while biting your tongue as the driver cuts in front of you) and you'll notice that your tolerance for change will improve and so will your health!

10. While all of this change is happening, try have some fun. Try new things, become inventive with your time. Attend free workshops, fun runs within the community or volunteer to another cause. There is nothing more rewarding giving back, when you have a "full cup", that is. When we are facing our own demons we want to run the opposite way of anything or anyone that requires us to invest in them. Remember that when you're serving someone other than yourself, be it through work, expressing kindness through random acts or sacrificing your time for another, you are practicing a form of meditation. The longer you stay in that space, the more peace you'll find. So give to others, it will ease your burden and it will hug your soul. 

11. Loyalty isn't as common as you may believe, not even from family. I've found that in the throws of change, you may lose friends. You may also find that you're able to make room for people who will understand where you're at right now. Others may stay clear of you for the sake of protecting themselves, while there are friends and family who may simply walk away because you no longer serve a purpose in their lives. Be okay with this. Friendships come and go and like to believe that each one serves a purpose. New friends are waiting to be made depending on what you need at the time, and their stories will make your life sweeter, just like that meringue pie I mentioned. 

~Namaste~