The Now Moment

You may be stuck, you may have even given up completely. 
Like myself, you may have started to wonder what the point of everything is, the point of the struggle, the point of more uphill climbs than downhill freewheels. Fact is, it starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts become our reality and so we manifest more of the same. 

We get sucked into this negative thinking and somehow, climbing out of the black pit of negativity is very hard - even for the eternal optimists such as myself! Until I was reminded that I was the creator of my immediate circumstances and quality of life, everyone else was to blame. 
How do we get out of this blame game? Gratitude for what we have and then, gratitude for all the things that we don't have - in advance and in appreciation that things could always be so much worse. 

If you're battling to accept that you're here - now, keep reading. I recently discovered a kindred spirit named Jocelyn Daher. She is a writer for Spirit Science and can be found on www.jocelyndaher.com. In a recent vlog post, (yes, that's Vlog with a V for video) she quoted Lao Tzu, a quote I've heard many times before. 

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 

If you are anxious you are living in the future. 

If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

Three things have become apparent for me. 

1. We spend too much time in our minds - conjuring up thoughts and feelings about negative possibilities that don't even exist (yet). We think about worse case scenario's because we're trying to control our fears through the re-runs in our minds. By playing out these resentments as a visual thought, we actually invite more of the same into our lives through manifesting our fears. Live your hope, let gratitude for what you have open your heart to more. 

2. Nothing is as certain as the very moment we're in right now. There is no guarantee of tomorrow and there is no way of erasing the past. By accepting, fully, that we're here - now and cannot be in two places at one time, we are in the fullest form of peace we can be in. Live your peace by accepting that nothing is forever and change is constant. It may be a bad day, but it's not a bad life. 

3. You cannot manifest your dreams if you're unable to be in the now moment. By focusing on the 'what if's', you're not able to fully manifest the joy you seek. 

Live your joy by following it like a curious child, follow what fills your heart instead of ignoring those things that ignite your soul. 

So how do we fully receive the power of the now moment? 

Wherever you are right now, wherever you're reading this, take a breath. Look around you and allow each sense to be fully aware of your surroundings. What do you hear? What do you see, in detail. Each waking moment offers you the opportunity to be 'asleep' and on autopilot or to be fully present. It is in these "now" moments of full awareness that we receive the gems that the universe is trying to share with us. Be open to these gifts and you'll find that life is full of blessings and opportunities. 

Be here now. 

My (un)Stuck Self

Have you ever just pinched yourself and realised you are you!
And in that moment, have you ever thought, "My name is (insert your name) and I'm this person, living this life in the place I live, doing what I do so naturally", but in a paradox realising you could have landed up being anyone else on this planet instead. You almost look at yourself in the mirror like a stranger at this alien body and face and think, "How on earth did this storyline land up being mine?".

Yes, I know I'm strange, these are the thoughts I think. I've realised I'm a 34 year old woman, in a relationship with my high school sweetheart that I've rekindled with after many years. We are disgustingly happy but we are living a shockingly frustrating life with his two damaged children that we're trying to raise on our own. 

Our love is pure, our bond, strong - but the tragedy is in the details. It's in the not knowing how it's all going to be okay, because so often I sit and focus on all the frustrations, instead of focusing on all that could go right. And therein lies my message to the universe, "I'm stuck!", or in my case, unstuck.

The big, fat lies we tell ourselves aren't true, but they become our reality when we start giving them airtime.

I've noticed 3 things that assist in the continuous manifestation of my misery. I am the creator of my story, I choose to rewrite daily. 

1. I think about the negative, to the point of obsession, about how much my life sucks. I do this because I want my cake and I want to eat it. I believe I can, but I can't see how in this circumstance. 
2. I speak about the drama's in my life as an outlet to anyone who will listen. Instead of changing the story and speaking life into the situation. 
3. I can't see the positive in my situation. I feel doomed because I've given up on helping myself. 

There was a time in my late teens when I clearly remember telling my friends I was going to work at an outlet store down the road from my house. It stood vacant for 3 months, with "To Let" paper plastered all over the glass windows. I told everyone that was going to be my new job, and when they asked me what the new store was, I just shrugged and said, "I don't know", because it didn't matter. What mattered was that it was just meters from my house and I was hell bent on being independent. I wanted to be able to walk to work and back without relying on my mother (or anyone else for that matter) for transport. 

When the store opened, I was delighted that it turned out to be a convenient store, full of every day groceries, cigarettes, nappies and cold drinks. I had no training, no previous experience in retail and no room in my head for "No". 

I walked up to the manager and asked him for a job, he was very quick to cut me short and tell me that all posts had been filled. I stood in front of him and replied with, "But you have to give me a job, I've told everyone I'm going to work here!", and he hired me on the spot. 

Growing older, we learn to fear more, we lose our sense of discovery and replace it with trepidation and skepticism. 

Lately that's where I've been. Hiding in the shadows of the person I know I really am. The person who is unwilling to face rejection again, who hides behind the comfort of the known. I always resented people like that, I always saw them as weak - yet here I am, knee deep, safe in the incapacity to part from my learned restrictions and just soar to greater personal heights. 

Three things I can do differently starting now? 

1. Try harder at following my authentic self. Go with my joy at every opportunity possible. 
2. Stop listening to the unnecessary, negative chatter in my mind. Because, none of it is real, it's all words that I've begun to believe! 
3. Take some real risks - put myself out there again and find my niche, no matter how long it takes, my strength is drawn from my self discovery.

Here's a little inspiration from Martha Beck which I'll leave you with. 

"The mirror image of suffering is the truth. Try it. Change the story. Change the course of your entire history. Right now."

 "You want me to lie about my past?" Diana wipes tears from her face with the back of her hand.

"No, to tell the story a truer way," says Herself. "Any story can be told infinite ways, dear, but listen to me. Listen well. If a story liberates your soul, believe it. But if a story imprisons you, believe its mirror image."