It's not that our intentions are bad or that they are less than noble, it's that the one person we fail to really outwardly appreciate goes unnoticed more often that we realise and I'm talking about our dear mothers.
Too special to go without praise
With all the hype about Mothers Day, I'm one of the few people that is not really coaxed or manipulated into grudge purchases once a year. I suppose in my mind, my sweet mother knows that I appreciate and love her and that I would move mountains on her request. But does she really know?
Recently I imagined not being able to share with her the news of my week, not being able to fill her in on the details of my life. It's always about me, my life, my details and very seldom how she is doing. I sat in my car for about 10 minutes trying to process what it would be like not to have her around. A suffocating lump built up in my throat, she cannot leave - but she's going to.
I adore my mother and although she lives in another province (and we're 600 kms away) we speak almost daily on Skype and she knows pretty much everything that's going in my world. It's not a role - it's a genuine interest and investment in me that she has, she'd probably tell you it's not even something she's consciously aware of. She is the epitome of a loyal friend, life long partner and devotee to a cause - my cause. Me.
But then reality sets in. Time is taking its toll on our long distance relationship and every year the reminder of our impending separation is clear on her face. Another line on hers, another on mine. One day the reality of our parting will result in unanswered phone calls and a void of questions I will only have myself to answer back. No matter how old we are, our mothers really are our first and last heroes.
Close to my heart
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For as long as I can recall my mother has been my cheerleader. She's been the one that has lived by example and not merely by instruction. She's the one whose voice echoes in my head when I'm about to consider doing a half job. She's the support at the end of a bad day with patience of a saint and a heart of gold. For her, it's about spending the time with me, for me I'm venting to my best friend - the only person in my world that gets me 100% down the line. No need for apologies and no need to explain, she's fair and can be stern but there is no lack of love. Ever.
I'm sure she would comment on what amazing human beings each of her children are, that's what mom's do. My mom believes in each and every one of us no matter how many times we stuff things up. No matter how many times we've let her down.
Perhaps I'm just getting older, more sentimental.
I realise that no matter how many positive memories I own of her or how grateful I am for her in my life, I'm always asking myself if she knows just how much.
I ask myself when last I shared my sentiments. When last I told her, "Mom, you are my hero, my best friend and the Queen of my heart. Thank you for loving for me so unfailingly, for your trust in me and for your innate willingness to cheer me on through life's challenges and celebrations.
Thank you for always just "getting me" and for believing in me, not just knowing but knowing that I can be or do anything I put my mind to. It is your voice in my head that I hear when I need guidance, it is your voice that I hear when I consider giving up."
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| 2013 |
Happy Mothers Day Mammoo - now and always. I appreciate you!
You're my conscience, my mentor and my best friend - it's time to make more memories together. I've realised that life is too short to regret the things we didn't do together, the laughter we could have shared in person. I'm dedicating 2014 to a year of more of you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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| December 2013 |
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