It's a Portuguese festival held in Wemmer Pan around this time every year. Problem is though that it's addictive, the atmosphere is electric and the sound of prawns on the open braai's will make you begging for me. Before you knock it because it's in the South of Joburg, know that all proceeds go to charity - specifically those with mental and physical disabilities.
The Kiffness
So you're in the South and you're expecting to see toothless people walking their kids on a leash for fear they will bite the dogs. The good news is that most of Lusito Land is full of visitors from around Jozi, including the North "doll".
You can expect lots of Piri Piri prawns and delicious Caipirinha's (a muddled lime and white spirit mix that is going to taste better than it will make you will feel the next day) along with traditional Portuguese fare and music.
There are rows and rows of flea market type stalls with lots of super kitsch crap to buy - things like scarves and cheap jewelry, biltong and wind chimes. But if you're lucky, you'll pick up a bargain somewhere along the line that you can't beat. You'll find those glow in the dark contact lenses you always wanted in your twenties and that microwavable bean bag just in time for winter.
10 reasons to go before 2nd May
So you're ready to brave the chilly Autumn breeze in exchange for some fun in the sun. Here's what do you need to know.
1. You've gotta play Tombola - It's for a good cause remember and your house will be full of cheap, unnecessary crap afterwards but it's like playing the lotto. Yesterday I won a box of chalk - my life is complete.
2. Take sunblock - It's warm out but there is minimal shade.
3. Don't fear - There are lots of police and secure parking.
4. Have a Fartura - Hmmm Fartura, a doughnut thats shaped like a long snake.Hot baked dough - deep friend and covered in sugar!
5. Take cash - There are ATM's but there's also a long queue and not many stalls take cash.
6. The kids can go too - LOTS of fun fair activity and rides for R30 a pop.
7. If you're over 30 you won't need as many ride tickets as you think - for the first time in 8 years I got off the 3rd ride ready to pass out from dizziness, I had to scalp the other 6 I bought after. (Note: I wasn't drinking because I was driving, it could have been far worse)
9. You can't leave without visiting Rodizio's. Best Caipirinha and best food no doubt. Look out for the big guy at the entrance yelling at everyone telling them the food and drink is best - he knows what he's talking about and he's been standing out there for years.
10. Enjoy the culture. Nothing beats adopting someones culture for a bit, a few years back I was fluent Portuguese (after a few Caipirinha's everyone is) and with the amount of culture, music and entertainment, it's worth every minute. Proudly Porra! (even if it's just for a day)
11. Final Thoughts: Go in a group, its far more festive. Look out for famous celebs (mostly Afrikaans) I saw Kurt Darren yesterday. Dress in layers (its hot inside the tents and then freezing out) and finally, take lots of photos!
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| It's fun in a crowd |
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| Rodizio's Capirinihas - this year in Bubble Gum Tequila Blue! |
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