Open Letter To My Friends With Depression

So here's the thing - you're not going to like what I have to say. In fact, you may even hate me for it.

I've sat across the room from you listening to your plight yet again. My heart breaks for you every time you're in the boxing ring with yourself. The gloves are off again, as you beat yourself into submission that "everything" is in fact, broken.

I have the right to judge 

Before you get angry, let me start by saying that your choices and your belief's about yourself are so far from real and true that it's making you sick. It's not because you're so depressed that you've lost self love and hope. It's that you're so far from loving yourself first that you've become depressed and lost.

So you say you want to take your own life and that life is overwhelming and I get it. Sometimes life is the bitch that stabs you in the front. It pains me to see how little you love the beautiful soul I adore. The excuses I've heard for your lack of self worth stem from everyone else's opinion of your circumstances, external issues and factors that don't even involve your participation. But you've made them your truth and they've sucked the life from you as you allow them airtime in your mind.

I sit beside you, on the other side of the phone, on the other side of the internet and email I've received. I cannot make you see the perfection that you are. You've chosen to believe the lies and fallacies that you repeat every day - like a mantra.

I have the right to judge - because I've been there - but no one could get me out of the depths of despair until I was ready to do it for myself.

"The pills will make it better", she said. 

Let's look at the factors that make you sad. 10 years ago you were upset about the same thing you're crying about today. The external factors never changed, they persisted. They only appeared stronger, because your self appreciation got weaker.

My heart gets really sore when I realise that no one can make you see your value and worth the way I see it. I've been cursed blessed with this indescribable acceptance of others on a soul level, a knowing of their pain and empathize with the darkness that abides in each. But while I see the darkness, I know the light and that light will free you as it freed me.

You sit and tell me the pills will make it all better, but the circumstances haven't changed so how can this just disappear without your active participation? Without your willingness to step up and participate in life and meet the Universe half way?

The pills won't make it better. They do for a while and then suddenly you have to deal with whatever it is that got you there in the first place. The pills are a lie and so is your condition. The "lowered" serotonin levels aren't your enemy, it's not a condition - it's your North Star blinking really loudly "Stop expecting different results by doing the same thing!". And then we procrastinate. We believe that it will all work itself out and that the problems we believe are SO real and SO big will just dissolve without our conscious decision to make it so. And with decisions to do so, we must take action. Baby steps count - one day at a time.

I love you

Just know this. No matter how unhappy you are, you are worthy. No matter how sad your heart is, happiness is a choice and it waits for you to choose it. Yes, sometimes we must fake it, till we make it. But for the most part, my greatest lessons in life have come from the realisation that we live our whole lives hating ourselves, while we try and please the world. Ironic isn't it.

Dear, sweet, precious soul. That guy you cry about isn't meant to be in your life. It's the 12th time you've broken up this year - release the need to control and let go. Have faith in something bigger than your desire to be right. God has a plan - believe.

To my darling friend M, you know that our talk today came from my heart - it always does. You are my most special and amazing friend and I love you dearly. Don't ever forget how much you mean to me. Your feelings are valid but the fear you're experiencing is all a lie. Jump, just jump.

Choose love. Choose to put your arm around yourself and be there for you. Get to know the person I see. The humorous, caring, capable person that can conquer the world! Choose peace. Choose to be wrong and be okay with it. Choose joy - even when it's hard. Life is about remembering and forgetting - so have fun.

The good thing about a bad day - is that it lasts 24 hours.
Seek gratitude and believe me when I say that everything works out in the end. Follow that North Star and know I'm always here for you.

Always.
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