A daily slice of life through my eyes

Friday, 17 October 2014

Lovesanity - my heart whimpers


I had this realisation recently. 

It’s not being in love that thrills us, it is in the moments that lead to being in love that leave us breathless.

Think back to your last encounter just before it was official. Those fleeting feelings of melancholy, infused with temporary insanity. This person, the thrill of this person. All that uncertainty, the possibility of unrequited love, the possibility of deep love. Our happy ending before it starts. These are the moments that had us tossing, questioning and love struck. It didn't arrive with the kiss, it wasn't in the moment you held hands. All those memories were superseded by the big question mark that hovered around the odds that could be – you and I.

Our vulnerability keeps us in love

It wouldn’t have meant as much, had you not had the opportunity to feel insecurity, doubt and wondering. So why do we rush it? Why do we clamber over ourselves to legitimize our relationships, even none romantic ones.  In our society of instant gratification, we’ve lost our ability to let things bloom in their perfect timing. Robbing ourselves of the uncoiling of something beautiful. Passion. Fire. Obsession.

As I pace through my emotions, I’m caught between my hearts melancholy because you’re gone and the charge that comes with forgetting you and moving on. It’s a scandalous contrast of independence and the familiar. It was always you, with some hold on me that I believed I had broken free from, there you are – once more and years later and before my eyes again.

So there's this man - and I think I;m in love (again)

I don’t want to be without you, when we are together I’m set free but when I’m without you I’m enslaved by my craving of being around you, one more time. I'm reminded about the spaces between us that keep me coming back for more. 

Just when I think that life and love have a cruel grievance against me, I’m reminded that time takes time. The same time that brought us together will bring us together again. You were there before me. You have been there in spite of me. I will wait for you, again.

When you're in the moment of wanting to make things happen, allow the spaces in your togetherness to bring you closer. There's no use forcing the inevitable, enjoy those breathless, scary moments and surrender to this time of uncertainty. It is these moments that you will remember the most and these moments you will treasure. 




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