I had heard about past life regression before, yet the concept seemed a little unbelievable. Coming from a religious background as a child, I was taught that there is only one life we live, we die and then we go to heaven. Past lives have always been a taboo subject, one that was more of a romanticized idea than a reality.
The Law of attraction
Last year I had come to terms with the possibility of finding out why I do the things I do through this kind of therapy. You know, those little idiosyncrasies that make up who we are - who I am. It's pinpointing personal likes and dislikes, for example why I love nature and the outdoors so much - could it be a past life memory?
I fobbed it off again until I found myself phoning a local healing institute looking for pricing on the session, still skeptical and concerned about whom to trust fully with this huge responsibility, I left it for another place and time. What I didn't know about past life regression therapy is that you are not told where you have been, this is not a fortune telling session. You are the one explaining to the therapist where you are, who you are and what you're seeing around you. I left it at that and a year later it all came up again.
Synchronicity
I had received my usual e-mailer from Body and Mind, a web based directory of therapists across South Africa, as I do every month. As I quickly scrolled through the updates, my own name caught my eye. I had won a past life regression therapy session through a competition with them that I had forgotten about. I stared at the mailer for a bit, trying to process this - my time had come.
So there I was in this quaint apartment home in Western Johannesburg, discussing the entirety of my life with Janine. An amazingly warm person from the get go and incredibly down to earth, she listened intently. This woman related to my suffering, empathized to the final tear and is an incredibly knowledgeable and wise soul.
We went through the in-depth process of getting to know who I was, my hurts, my resentments and my life to date. This is all important in understanding where blockages and baggage from past lives may come from as well as lessons in this lifetime that we need to address. I had mentioned to Janine that my love for animals and forestry found Craig and I living in our very own forest in Bryanston. I am surrounded by tall pine trees, birds and wildlife that all make my heart incredibly happy. These are the things I wish to surround myself with, I explained.
As we entered our 4th hour together we moved to her massage/therapy room to begin the process. I won't lie, my heart was pounding. I was incredibly concerned about what I imagined would come over me. In a relaxed, meditative state, I lay completely aware of my surroundings, my breath, her voice and my personal space all resounded with peace. What progressed from there was an intimate and incredibly emotional journey into the life of a 40 year old man (me) who had a beautiful wife and child and who literally found himself running in fear from a very big and incredibly angry bear.
I had to laugh. I was expecting something more glamorous like the life of royalty or that of a fair maidens life in beautiful towers of Ivory. No such luck here. I wielded an ax and didn't even have shoes on! An hour passed and I described my love for my wife and the tragedy I felt in losing her. She had been murdered it seems and the healing process included speaking to her and asking for forgiveness for not being around to protect her, clearing negative energy and replacing it all with Golden Light. In a funny turn of events, my mum in this life was that very same woman I was married to, there too we sorted out our karmic debt.
In this lifetime, I am cognoscente of the lessons she presented as my wife and the lessons she presents as my mother, teaching me boundaries in this life, where I had let her down in the life before.
A grizzly moment
Back to angry bear I went, face to face with a grizzly isn't a walk in the park, or in this case a forest. The clearing that I had found myself in again with the bear was that of my handiwork. I was a woodcutter, this was my doing. As the tears of guilt streamed down my face, as if watching a movie outside of myself, the bear requests conservation of this space in exchange for the incurred damage.
At this stage Janine is requesting me to ask the bear if I could plant trees in the space where I had done my job as a woodcutter. The bear refuses - "Now what?", I think to myself. She asks me to explain to the bear that I had done my job as a woodcutter, that I was sorry and that I was providing firewood for many people to stay warm and cook food. (Please note that this is all me, playing out this movie in my mind while being guided by Janine) The bear requests awareness, this will lead to conservation. "Conservation?", I thought, "that's a lot of hard work!" - the bear simply wants conservation in the form of awareness for her natural habitat.
Janine sits silently in tears as I sob with guilt over the destruction of the bears home - I'm exhausted.
Mental overload
If you have ever experienced a meditation whereby you have had so much information received that you're as exhausted as a marathon runner at the end of a 100km race, you would have an idea of the level of fatigue I was at by the end of these 4 hours. What. The hell. Had just happened?
Janine hugged me goodbye, had a chuckle about the bear and off I went on my way home. Crying inconsolably at the pain that I had endured in that lifetime, I drove home on autopilot. I sobbed more-so that my beloved mother was once let down by me as my wife and now in this lifetime has gifted me with lessons to rectify my mistakes of the past. What a bittersweet contrast.
Until our next visit
While I think it may be a couple of weeks before I see Janine again, I am definitely lighter inside. I am aware of her amazing gifts as a healer and appreciate that she shared this journey and her knowledge with me.
From the list of issues we compiled yesterday I may need more than one session with her, either way I've made a friend and I've put in place one more piece of the puzzle of who I am.
Janines Contact details: Morning Star HC website
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