The times that hurt and why it will get better

I've had the pleasure of spending 2 full weeks with many little children over the December holidays. Two of these being in my space for the long haul, breakfast to bedtime prayers.  As I've observed these little guys in my space, two things have become apparent. Firstly, all things that are new can either hurt or excite. Secondly, all things that hurt, don't hurt for too long after they have been discovered. 


The pain loses it's power 

Jake* sat on the edge of the chair sobbing his eyes out. He had hit his head in the same place a week earlier. As I watched him sit and process his pain, the whimpering turned into a fuller grown bleat of discomfort. With his little head in his little hands, Jake looked up at me with wide, tearing eyes. 

I should mention that little accident-prone Jake often connects with the nearest corner of anything that his limbs gravitate towards. A week before the scenario would have, like most recast moments in his life, be a little more dramatic. I realised then that Jake wouldn't lament over his current misfortune today as he did the first time. During his original experience Jake learned that he would survive his ordeal and inevitably be okay, regardless of the (high) risk he ran of connecting with a "stray" furniture corner in the distant future. 

Embrace the pain

The last 4 months have been the toughest of my life in quite a while. Those who follow my blog will know some of my personal struggles, but for the most part, it's what I haven't published that have hurt the most. 

Recently I found myself in the darkest, most fragile part of myself. Somewhere along the line I'd lost the ability to process -  the will to process.
Then I found myself realising that some things hurt more, some were easier to deal with and approach than others. I felt guilty.

My realisation had been that while some of these things were stressful, others were easier to manage because I had been through them before - and survived. I guess it comes with experience the day you hear about devastation and find yourself somewhat more detached or somewhat less concerned about has happened versus what still remains. Finding the blessing in the tragedy versus being consumed and defined by it. 

I embraced the pain and let it rock me in it's fiery arms while my tears evaporated my emotional dependence to the drama I was facing. In my pain, I was free. Free because I was aware that it wasn't happening because of anything that I had contributed to, caused or could control. 

It's always more painful the first time

Experience makes us stronger and while it may not make it easier, it makes the agony a little more bearable as we ache through life's challenges. We get up, we lick our wounds and we risk it all again for the hope that life will throw us a bone - because we kinda have to. We have to risk it, or we die. If not physically, then emotionally. 

Whatever you're facing, no matter how big or small embrace it. 
If it still hurts, you're still growing.