I'm not going to share with you why being single or involved is the issue, I am however, going to share with you a couple of things that I wish every woman would consciously accept.
Ladies take note
1. Learn to have a two way conversation without sulking - Just because your friend said something you don't have the same views on, doesn't mean you should take it personally. In fact, the sooner you learn to accept that people are different and that it's ok, the better.
2. Be unapologetically you! - A gem of a quote by my favourite author Sonia Choquette, one I live by. Please realise that the more secure you are within yourself, the less likely you are to walk through life seeking everyone's approval. Shine!
3. Don't abandon your ideals - Gosh if only our hearts and our heads would just get this. When it comes to those dodgy friends you know aren't contributing to your success or that man that just won't call you back - you know when you're compromising yourself and abandoning your ideals. We go through life always having that 'gut' feeling when something's wrong but seldom learn to listen to it. Start now.
4. Get a 'secret' account - This one's from my mom and probably the best of all the advice she's given me. No matter how in love you are or secure you may feel with your partner, whether you're single or married for 15 years - get yourself a secret account and save. Every woman should have some sort of money for a rainy day, money equals security and independence.
5. Be aware of who your 'people' are - While you may be hanging around friends that you're with because of their potential, the truth is that your circle says a lot about where you are at in your life. If you want to be successful, popular or respected, choose a crowd that is contributing to and not contaminating your growth.
6. Your insecurity makes you ugly - I have a couple of friends who are so riddled with insecurity, that although beautiful on the outside, can be very ugly. It's like a poisonous snake whose head comes out at the most inopportune time. It may be at the function you're at, or perhaps, weeks later when you find out why they didn't join you in the first place. If you wanna be beautiful inside and out, please let go of your baggage and realise that you are beautiful. Your controlling nature is just confirmation of how scared you are inside. Let people be, find your inner confident and then refer back to point 2!
7. And men can smell it! - Not just your man, but all men. I've been around so many male conversations with men who are ragging not only the insecure female counterpart their friends are involved with, but the friend as well. While you're throwing your emotional hissy fit and manipulating an outcome that makes you feel better, you're also damaging a couple reputations including your man's!
8. When invited out, don't be a hermit - I may sound harsh here, but if you're going to keep to yourself after the 11th invite you've received and declined, don't be surprised when you find yourself at home on a Saturday night and the phone isn't ringing. Participate in life, people are attracted to people who are interesting and busy!
9. Being interesting takes you places - Easier said than done, I realise this. But have you ever considered what type of friend you are? Unfortunately the complainer and whiner isn't popular on the list, neither is the person that starts every sentence with "I". Ask questions and be "present" by being interested in others, after all that's how we learn and grow. There's nothing worse than a one way conversation with a person what can't stop bragging about their own achievements.
10. Choose your battles - Learn to let go, what you perceive as a big deal probably isn't unless it's a deal breaker. If your boyfriend hugs a girl friend "hello" it doesn't mean he's secretly planning on leaving you. If you want to know if it's 'small stuff' or not, consider the feedback from your friends and then try break the cycle of insecurity.
Bonus point
11. Watch your conversations with yourself - This is a biggy. Most of our insecurities are perceptions of what we 'assume' other people may be thinking of us. What exactly does your inner dialogue sound like? Are you loving yourself and being your own best friend, or is there a whip wielding slave driver controlling your every thought? If you're not being good to yourself, consider taking control of your thoughts and start loving yourself again.
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