Post Natal Depression or Post Baby Reality Check?

Let me first say this, I do not have any children of my own and I'm writing this purely from an observers perspective. 

I have a string of first time mums in my friendship circle. A lot of them have reported back to me with these exact words, "Think very hard before you have children". This leaves me slack jawed and fearful as I reconsider for a second that which I innately want to experience as a woman. 

A one of the ladies in my friendship circle has just had her 2nd child. The overwhelming adjustment to her newborn while trying to deal with her demanding 3 year old found me "Hello?" Helloing on the phone when she hung up on me during a mini meltdown, this a few days after the birth of her new baby. The incredible amount of 'stress' and 'chaos' threw her into a downward spiral of what I can only imagine was post natal depression. After many 'interviews' with new mums I found an obvious pattern which got me thinking. 

1. Most of my friends are on Eglonyl - if you've suffered from PND/PPD or general depression of any sort then you would know this is an antidepressant medication that no only assists with those who are in need of a mental 'time out' but is also a lactation aid in women. 

2. Partnering together eases the burden - those who have support from hubby, not only morally but physically seem to do better. Hand's-on dads help mums adjust by relieving her of her 'mom' duties and allowing her some time out to 'reset'. Dad's who aren't always around seem to leave mom hanging and therefore freaking out!

3. What are we really in for? - No one is really ever prepared for the change that parenthood brings but is there some way that we could educate ourselves or create back up plans? You may be laughing at me about now but my mum is a mother to 5 children. How did she get it right - 5 times - without any medication. 

Here's my question re post natal depression. What are the reasons we are failing to adapt? Are we getting lazier, weaker, more stressed? Are there greater demands on us as mothers now than there were 50 years ago or is this purely a hormonal issue? 

So here's what I found online on www.apa.org and WebMD.

• An estimated 9-16 percent of postpartum women will experience PPD

PPD may be associated with:

• a decline or fluctuation in reproductive hormones such as estrogen and progesterone which can predict depression in susceptible women

• previous experience of depression and anxiety; a personal or family history of depression; marital dysfunction; and younger motherhood

• acute stressors, including events specific to motherhood (e.g., child care stressors) and other stressful events (e.g., death of a loved one)

• exposure to toxins; crowding; air pollution; poor diet; low socioeconomic status; and low levels of social support

• the stress of a new child, in combination with the incongruity between the expectations and reality of motherhood

• difficult infant temperament through erosion of the mother’s feeling of competence as a caregiver.

• You have a greater chance of getting postpartum depression if :

• You've had depression or postpartum depression before.

• You have poor support from your partner, friends, or family.

• You have a sick or colicky baby.

• You have a lot of other stress in your life.

So with the increase of stress in our lives in general does this mean that we're all experiencing more post natal depression that we were 50 years ago? 

According to the UK Daily Mail woman are suffering from twice as much PPD/PND across the world than before. According to a survey between 4000 women in the UK, research revealed that 1 in 10 women had suffered PPD/PND  . Doctors urge women who experience poor concentration, irritability, anxiety and anger for more than a 2 week period after baby is born to consult a doctor. 

PPD/PND anxiety has also been associated with poor infant development according to an article on Medscape.com with reports on the site claiming that untreated PPD/PND can cause negative responses in developing infants in terms of fear response and social interaction. 

The article continues to report that their research shows that PPD/PND is in fact on the rise within developing countries and that because women are waiting longer to have children this may indicate a maternal age related issue which is still being investigated. 

They also claim that the rise is also due to more demands on women to be a great mom with a great career. Aha! I thought as much. This isn't good news for me being 31 and childless. 

Lets hope that with the right preparation, self acceptance and love, less people will fall into the trap of trying to perfect motherhood as they load their perfectly made up face to social media sites immediately after the C-section of their child. Who are we in competition with anyway?

Perhaps we could take a tip from our older generation and just leave some things as sacred and revered like having our babies in peace and quiet without social media, judgement and competition between our friends and family. 

Perhaps the best antidote for post natal depression is in fact gentleness and self love and this should start way before any babies are conceived. Much like the advice you get before your wedding day that 'nothing ever goes 100% according to plan' we could choose our battles before bashing ourselves over the head with a 'Failure' stick.

It seems being a happy healthy mum may be linked to being a well balanced and centered individual first. No pressure, LOL.

Being our own worse enemies never served us anyway. Hold thumbs that one day I'm not blogging about this first hand, but then again being the perfectionist I am, I may just lose my rocker before any babies are born!